Remembering

Portraits of the Savior by Liz Lemon Swindle

This morning I woke up needing to write. That happens a lot but this morning I am feeling worried and discouraged and "needing" to get to the bottom of it. Do you ever just get that feeling that your worrying is getting the better of you? Do you feel helpless and hopeless and that lack of peace that wears you down? I feel that way right now.

I am so concerned about several really good friends that are suffering. Some are seriously ill, some struggling in relationships, some struggling financially, some with huge burdens that seem insurmountable. When you are close to people you feel their pain and the pain of their families too. The rippling effect touches a lot of lives because we are all in this earth life together.

As if that is not enough, then there is the worry about the world in general. It seems to be slipping into a downward spiral of endless evil and war, ridiculous politics, selfishness and greed. People are working less and feeling more entitled, decent morality and values are slipping away and becoming clouded with the notion that anything goes. Things that have always been a good part of our lives and culture are being changed and denied and violently threatened. The world says what used to be wrong is now right, what use to right is now wrong.

I have to wonder if my perceptions are a symptom of getting older. Does every generation feel this way as they come to a point in their lives where they have had enough of life's experiences to feel that earth life is going to the dogs? Even Plato felt the rising generation had it all wrong. Have I just had enough things happen in my own life now that I am feeling more empathy for those who are sick and otherwise afflicted or is it really getting so much worse?

It may be that lots of people I have known have gone through horrendous things and I have just been unaware and involved totally in my own little world. But to me it feels like it is getting a lot worse in spite of the blinders I might have had on in my younger years. Right now we know more than a half a dozen people that are seriously ill with cancer alone. That seems like a lot, doesn't it? I try to be really positive about life, but that is getting me down. Add to that those that are struggling with other illnesses, infertility, sick children, rocky relationships, aging parents, etc. etc.

So what I am trying to figure out is how I let myself get into this total worrying mode. Part of it is just love and concern for these wonderful people and wanting the world to be a better place to live. I think we all feel that way, right? We all want everything to be great all the time. No one chooses to be sick, afflicted, or other wise burdened with hard things. No one wants to feel helpless in helping others. We all have that "I want to fix this" mode of thinking in us, don't we?

God does not cause our problems but He allows them to happen so that we can grow. He allows them to happen sometimes so we can and will come to Him and and seek His comfort and help. He has given us so many tools to help us through this life, we have faith, prayer, knowledge of His plan, His love and His promise. We have the hope of His grace in our lives. We have the fellowship of our loved ones and those who follow Him. We have the comfort of our scriptures.

But sometimes when we are in the thick of this life, struggling with our own problems or someone else's, we forget who is over all. We forget it is not our stewardship to fix, we forget our worrying does not get us anywhere. We forget that our own understanding is so limited. We forget that He wants us to reach out to Him and let Him carry us. We forget how to Let Go and Let God...take care of it. Isn't this very essence of our mortal testing? We forget to ask for His will to be our will. We want it to be the other way around. So we ask incessantly for Him to do what we want Him to do. Sometimes that reminds me of how little kids ask their parents to do things that are completely unrealistic, or not for their best good. He alone knows the end from the beginning. We forget to ask Him how we can really help another. Since we cannot seem to figure it out on our own, we worry.

We need to turn back to God and let Him do His job. We need to pray more and trust more. We need to never say, "All we can do now is pray" as though it were a flimsy, last resort, kind of thing. It is the total opposite and the finest thing we can do for another. It is a privilege to pray for others and like all things God asks of us, brings us great comfort personally, as well. It is easy to have faith when all is well, but it is better to have faith when things are difficult because we grow from it.

This is how we are refined and defined over time. We don't want to struggle but we need to struggle. When just trusting Him doesn't seem like enough, we have to do it anyway. We need to stretch out our hand and let Him take it. Faith precedes every miracle.

I wonder why I often forget these things and the symptom of it is always....worry. I am glad I have been able to think this through this morning with you. I am feeling more faith already.

If only faith and spiritual things could be learned and remembered like riding a bicycle. But it is not that way. We have to keep relearning, keep searching and keep praying. My favorite scripture is "Look unto me in every thought, doubt not fear not." Fear and faith are polar opposites. God is over all and I am going to just be still and know that He is God.

Writing this has once again brought me to remember how blessed we are to have such a loving Heavenly Father and Savior who will never change, never leave us alone and never forget the prayers we say. What more do we need, really?

We, after all, are not in charge...what a relief!