Showing posts with label Motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Motherhood. Show all posts

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Happy Mother's Day


Mother's Day as we know it is 100 years old this year. But the celebration of the goodness mothers is eternal. Whether you are a mother or love someone that is, this is a special day to contemplate the blessings of the human family and all of our mothers since Eve that brought us to this place.

The painting by Pino is one I love. It is called Sacred Steps. It evokes such ethereal, elevated, and eternal feeling and thoughts of the sacred calling of motherhood. The painting depicts the memories of raising children to me, perhaps more than the actual day to day sacred steps to the empty nest. 

As I watch our daughters, which of course includes Chris' wife, Missy, go through this process now through the eyes of my own experiences, I am enthralled all the more by the sacred steps taken to redesign and refine who a woman becomes day by day on the journey. Being a mother is a sanctifying endeavor.  The joys lift you so high while the total sacrifice of your complete self in the process, seals you to it. To love a child in that way is to fill the measure of our creation as women like nothing else I know.  Of course these relationships are eternal.

There are no perfect mothers but there are legions of mothers with hearts full of perfect intentions. Those mothers who want the very best for their children and who sacrifice and give and serve constantly, day after day and year after year in an eternal way. There are no releases in this calling of motherhood.  They are just as important to our lives, out of the nest, as in it. We still worry and fret and yearn for their burdens to be lightened or their shoulders strengthened to carry their load. And also for a way to help them, as their mothers, in those daily struggles.

We still drop everything to run to them in times of need, all of us in our own unique ways. Although our bodies may get weary, we still desire to lift and pull and pray and give to edify and love and support them.  Because that is what Mothers do, without even thinking about it.  The polishing comes from the day in and day out, thick and thin of it, until it becomes who we truly are.   I will always remember my sweet mother sitting in her wheelchair in her 80s, offering to help lift my burdens as I scurried around doing things.  Her body was weakened but her heart and love untamed and as strong as ever.  Motherhood is a miracle.


No joy is as profound to a mother as the happiness and successes of her child.  No mother wants anything negative to befall her children.  No matter what they do or who they become we love them completely.  We love them all equally which is to say unconditionally.

This holiday means more to me each year as I learn of the sacrifices of my own individual foremothers.  They had been women that have been valiant in their stewardship of motherhood through the centuries.   Motherhood was not easy then, as it is not easy today.  We've had different trials but equally challenging in many ways. This world will never be trouble free but their sacrifices have benefited us through the ages.  A child is the only one who hears its mothers heartbeat from the inside and that heartbeat echoes within us all of our lives...passing on something of substance from each generation to the next.  No matter where our mother is, she is never far from us.

In our family they have been women who packed up and shipped out of England and Sweden and Wales and Italy to keep their children from starving to death, in some cases, and from little possibility of improving their lots in life while remaining in their homelands.  They are women who crossed the plains in fear and deprivation but with great faith in a brighter future because of it. Every generation tells of their abundant faith in God to see them through.  This is a sacred heritage that I have seen back to the 1500s.  Not a non-believer in the bunch so far.  The study of these, our people, through the centuries has strengthened and fortified my faith in countless ways.

They have experienced hardships and poverty and dangers and dying children in almost every generation, sometimes more than one or two at a time.  They have been uprooted and they have survived childbirth on the prairies and in sailing ships crossing the ocean with no privacy and no cleanliness and and often under insufferable, horrific conditions.  There was starvation and illnesses and sorrows of every kind while they pressed forward with a perfect brightness of hope in the future, for their children and ultimately for us their posterity.

To learn of them is humbling and enlightening to say the very least.  Being a mom has never been easy, not ever.  But what a tremendous blessing to have a mother and to be one or to love one or many.  There is no more sacred or important thing we can do in this life than to help our Heavenly Father's children through the joys and sorrow of this life.  What a trust He must have in us, His daughters.

And in our husbands and the fathers of our children, who have an equal but different responsibility in this great work.  What a perfect plan of happiness and joy we are given.  All of us are blessed with having or being a mother.  Some of us are both.  But not all.  To all women everywhere that help by being teachers and nurturers and who love children~God bless you. And to all men everywhere the same blessings to you for doing likewise.  And that includes all Grandparents and even some Great-Grandparents who have had the glorious privilege of seeing His Plan of Happiness play out into the third and fourth generations as well.  Our loving Heavenly Father has thought of everything!  Find and cling to the Joy in it!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mother's Day 2012


A Very Happy Mother's Day to one and all! Most women I have known, whether a mother or not, are to be celebrated for their bounteous, nurturing qualities. The love and joy that women bring into this world shapes and molds it like no other human force for good. Literally, the hands that rock the cradle bless us all.

Being loved unconditionally by my own mother was a very sacred experience, one like I have never known the likes of, until we had children of our own. I think most mothers would do anything for our children and in some cases have. Being mom to Jennifer, Christopher and Laura has been a priceless gift that never wears out or grows common place for me. They have taught me so much and given me so much love and respect and comfort through this life and I am grateful for them and their goodness.  And being a Gramma just cannot be surpassed in any possible way! We adore them, each and every one!

 
My Mom, Love Her Forever!

They make every Mother's Day a Happy one for me. And now watching them raise their little families is even more thrilling. They work so hard and I feel exhausted just watching it.

I love you guys and your Dad for the many happy, happy years you can given me. You just keep getting better and better ~ you amaze us constantly.

Jen, Missy and Laura~Happy Mother's Day! You are the best!

I made a Pinterest Board for Mother's Day and you can find it here

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Thoughts on Motherhood


Long stemmed Roses from Jennifer and family this year!  Thank You!

Happy Mother's Day!

I gave this talk on Motherhood last year at church. This is something we do in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We get opportunities every once in a while to teach each other from the scriptures, our experiences, and to talk about our testimonies of how God's principles apply in and affect our lives. It is not necessarily an easy thing to do, but it truly is a growing experience and brings you closer to the spirit. So the following is the presentation I will give in church today...

*********
I have enjoyed preparing this talk about motherhood. I have thought deeply about this, it is one of my most favorite subjects. It is a privilege to be given the opportunity to focus on just one thing for several days. I am admittedly a bit of a Pollyanna when it comes to motherhood. I love looking on the bright side of it. I believe as the Proclamation on the Family states that:

"Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. "Children are an heritage of the Lord" (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live.

Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.
The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.

Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.

By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. "

 
I believe in these principals and think that this proclamation sets out the very best way that family life can thrive. It is how parenthood, as well as, marriage can work best. By recognizing that Motherhood is enhanced in every way by a loving father to share equally in the calling of parenting, should make Mother's Day enjoyable to mothers and fathers alike. Father's Day as well, should really be celebrated as a joint effort in accomplishing God's work with his children entrusted to our care. I like that the obligation of these sacred responsibilities and helping one another as equal partners, truly is God's Plan.

So today is Mother's Day, the day we celebrate all the joys of being mothers and of having mothers. I am all for it, aren't you?

I know that Mother's Day can be a bittersweet day for many, if not all of us. I do not think anyone would deny that the love between parent and child is most unique among all other relationships. It has the power given to us to know charity, or the pure love of Christ like no other. No matter the circumstances, it is nearly impossible to put out the light of love between parent and child. For me this day is bittersweet because I love my mother with all my heart and she has passed from this life and I miss her today...and everyday.

Also in the same manner I love all of our children and our grandchildren and we are not together today either. But I can celebrate Mother's Day with Jim. He was every bit as much a part of raising them as I was. And who knows of and shares in my joy in motherhood more than he does?

For many there are sorrows associated with this day, loss of a mother or child in death, sorrow over things not being as we would wish with a certain child or mother, estrangement, or not having opportunity to receive the blessing of being a parent at all in this life. If you or someone you know struggles with this please read or refer them to this article by Sister Sheri Dew, entitled "Are We Not all Mothers?"

So when these unsettling types of feelings arise on Mother's Day, how can we best handle them?

One thing I have learned in my life is that thoughts precede and produce feelings and feelings govern our well-being. "As a man thinketh in his heart so is he," the Bible tells us in Proverbs 23:7. The gift of agency allows us to choose how we feel on Mother's Day and every other day. When I feel myself feeling sadly about not being with my mom and our kids today..I get to choose what I think about next.

I choose to think of God's promise of eternal families and that I will be with my mother again one day. And I can think about my gratitude that our children are where they are supposed to be, doing what they are supposed to be doing, and then I am happy. Then I think of all the blessings they have brought to our lives and I feel joy. One of the secrets to a happy life is gratitude. You simply cannot be grateful and unhappy at the same time.

So on motherhood, I can only share my subjective feelings. My experiences are difference than yours. If I had to think of one word to sum up what my mothering experiences have given me beyond love or joy, it would be "Enrichment."

Have you ever added up the accumulative parenting and grandparenting years you have so far? It is quite astonishing to know that number. For Jim and me it is, 189 years. Seriously scary isn't it?

Have these kids been perfect? Not hardly. Have we been perfect in our parenting and grandparenting...far from it. But do we love them unconditionally and wholeheartedly and think they are the best kids in the whole world...absolutely. Parenthood is not about perfection it is about building a child, a life, and adopting and teaching a value system in a way that allows them the most advantage and opportunity in this life and the next. They are our best people. That is how we feel...


And you should feel exactly the same way
about your own family!

The width and breath of the experiences we have had as parents could not be gained any other way. The highs and lows, the hard knocks and the blows of disappointment, along with the triumphs and joys, are priceless enrichment in a mother and father's life. In the total scheme of things, I think children teach far more to parents than the other way around. We serve and teach them with all of our hearts and they then teach and serve us...it is the perfect circle of life.

There are so many important stages in raising a family. When I see young mothers I am in awe. When I see how hard you work I cannot even imagine that I too once did all of that. If you don't believe in ministering angels, you should they are all about you helping and lifting you when you think you can't do it another day...another minute.

In those years I barely remember what happened between 1972 and 1990. For example I could not name one record on the top 10 charts during that time and I love music. I was pretty much absent from the world, down in the trenches, just running and serving and caring for our family. I'd get through each day and fall exhausted into bed when I couldn't do any more. Then I'd get up the next morning and repeat.

For those of you in that stage right now, I want to assure you that although you will never be released of your calling as mother, you will see the day when you remember what actually happened a week ago, and what it is like not to be dragging all the time.

When that bitter sweet day comes and your last one flies out of the nest, you will grief the loss of it even though it is hard to imagine now. You will long for the days when you had them surrounding you at home. A word of warning about that recapturing of your memory and energy...it doesn't last too long so enjoy it while you can. It is one of the joys of the Empty Nest.

We teach and we pray for our little children continually to be protected from the perils of this crazy world and we worry. If you are holding on to that notion that age 18 is magical, and then your struggles will be over~think again. You always have concern for your boys and girls and pray for them no matter how old they are.

There are so many help books to read about the whole process of parenting. But to me it boils down to a few important things.

I use to love to read books by Richard Eyre and his wife Linda on raising kids. In fact, I still read their books. Parenting Adult Children lies on our bookshelf at home today. Richard Eyre is the originator of The Joy Schools, if you are familiar with them.

He has a new book about Parenting as God Does.
So why not simplify and look to the best parent of all for our mentoring? God our Father.We can begin by remembering who our children really are and to help them remember too. They are our spiritual brothers and sisters and sons and daughters of a King! (This article by the Eyres is amazing and gives you some practical helps on how to do this.)

Examining How God Parents



"So here is a list of some of the things we know about how God, our Heavenly Father parents us.
  1. Complete, unconditional love. We know that God has a deep and unconditional love for each of us and that His love is individual rather than collective.
  1. God sees (and treats) each child as a unique and eternal individual.  He knows each of us perfectly and loves the uniqueness that makes us each who we are.
  1. God gives clear, simple laws with well-announced consequences, rewards, and punishments.   Our Heavenly Father has never been subtle or ambiguous about His rules. He wrote them in stone.
  1. God allows His children the chance to repent. Heavenly Father wants none of us to fail. His laws are not negotiable, and He knows we will fall short, so there is a provision for repentance.
  1. God taught us and trained us and held us close throughout the pre-mortal life; and then He gave us choices and let us go.    God, in His marvelous model for parenting, held us close, kept us with Him in his home, and taught us all He could for eons. And then, when further progress required the responsibility, choice-making, independence and families-of-our-own that could not happen in His presence, He gave us our agency and let us go.
  2. ( I want to add here that when that time comes and they are gone realize, that your job as parents of adult children changes. We should love, support and give our two cents worth only when asked.) Still working on this one!
  1. God allows us constant availability to Him through prayer, and suggests regular communication. With God, there are certain set times when we anticipate spiritual communication--when we partake of the sacrament, when we kneel in family prayer, when we have our personal bedtime prayers. These are like set appointments for spiritual meetings that will keep us in tune and in touch.
  1. God finds joy in his children and in His relationship with them. This one we are good at!
God’s “glory” is the progress and eternal lives of His children, and “joy” is the purpose for which He made mortality. We know that he takes joy in our progress, in our learning, and in His individual relationship with each of us." Article here.
I would like to add a couple of ours to the list.

1. Teach them how to work and work hard. Everything we attain to in this life comes from hard work and lots of it. Sending a young adult out into the world without this skill, only comes back to bite you in the end. And coddling them along in their youth and doing everything for them is not doing them any favors in the long run.

2. Help them to love and support each other and be best friends. You do your best to be the glue that holds your family together when your children are grown. It takes work on your part, they are busy raising their own families, they love their siblings very much, they just don't have a lot of extra time and energy during this time in their lives to stay as connected as they would like.


*************

I love being a mother with all my heart and our family is what I live for, day in and day out. It helps me realize and fulfill the measure of my creation. It is ongoing and I try to never let it become ordinary or to forget what a blessing it is in all its aspects. From the heights of its joy to the depth of its sorrows, it is all good. It is an enrichment of our life experiences and teaches us to be more like Christ, like nothing else can. And when we think it cannot possibly get any better, the crowning glory of life comes along, being a grandparent. There is so much to be thankful for and family is at the top of the list. It is my prayer for all of us that that is where we will be our best selves. Charity, or the Pure Love of Christ, truly does begin at home.

Don't we all want it said of us one day ...that we had these traits from Proverbs 31 about a virtuous woman:


 25Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
26She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
28Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. My personal favorite!
29Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
31Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
It is a life time pursuit for us as women. We need to have faith, pray often, follow our perfect exemplar and mentor, our Father in Heaven, and keep trying. Parenting is like filling our lamp with oil. Little by little, day by day we build our children with the things we say and do and the unconditional love we give them. It is humbling to realize how much faith our Father In Heaven has in us. It is my testimony that, one day at a time we can do it with His help.
***************

P.S. Happy Mother's Day Everyone, and to our sweet and precious daughters, Jen, Laura and Melissa this is your Mother's Day message from me. I love you with all of my heart and soul! You make me smile all the time. And that goes for the Chris, Robert and Lowell as well, and all the kids! As far as I'm concerned, every day is Mother's Day because I have all of you! So since I got absolutely no rest whatsoever today, just for the record...I am taking tomorrow off!
♥ ♥ ♥ and flowers to you all ~ Mom

Sunday, May 8, 2011

On Motherhood


Happy Mother's Day!

I am giving a talk in church today on Motherhood. This is something we do in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We get opportunities every once in a while to teach each other from the scriptures, our experiences, and to talk about our testimonies of how God's principles apply in and affect our lives. It is not necessarily an easy thing to do, but it truly is a growing experience and brings you closer to the spirit. So the following is the presentation I will give in church today...

*********
I have enjoyed preparing this talk about motherhood for today. I have thought deeply about this, it is one of my most favorite subjects. It is a privilege to be given the opportunity to focus on just one thing for several days. I am admittedly a bit of a Pollyanna when it comes to motherhood. I love looking on the bright side of it. I believe as the Proclamation on the Family states that:

"Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. "Children are an heritage of the Lord" (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live.

Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.
The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.

Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.

By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. "

I believe in these principals and think that this proclamation sets out the very best way that family life can thrive. It is how parenthood, as well as, marriage can work best. By recognizing that Motherhood is enhanced in every way by a loving father to share equally in the calling of parenting, should make Mother's Day enjoyable to mothers and fathers alike. Father's Day as well, should really be celebrated as a joint effort in accomplishing God's work with his children entrusted to our care. I like that the obligation of these sacred responsibilities and helping one another as equal partners, truly is God's Plan.

So today is Mother's Day, the day we celebrate all the joys of being mothers and of having mothers. I am all for it, aren't you?

I know that Mother's Day can be a bittersweet day for many, if not all of us. I do not think anyone would deny that the love between parent and child is most unique among all other relationships. It has the power given to us to know charity, or the pure love of Christ like no other. No matter the circumstances, it is nearly impossible to put out the light of love between parent and child. For me this day is bittersweet because I love my mother with all my heart and she has passed from this life and I miss her today...and everyday.

Also in the same manner I love all of our children and our grandchildren and we are not together today either. But I can celebrate Mother's Day with Jim. He was every bit as much a part of raising them as I was. And who knows of and shares in my joy in motherhood more than he does?

For many there are sorrows associated with this day, loss of a mother or child in death, sorrow over things not being as we would wish with a certain child or mother, estrangement, or not having opportunity to receive the blessing of being a parent at all in this life. If you or someone you know struggles with this please read or refer them to this article by Sister Sheri Dew, entitled "Are We Not all Mothers?"

So when these unsettling types of feelings arise on Mother's Day, how can we best handle them?

One thing I have learned in my life is that thoughts precede and produce feelings and feelings govern our well-being. "As a man thinketh in his heart so is he," the Bible tells us in Proverbs 23:7. The gift of agency allows us to choose how we feel on Mother's Day and every other day. When I feel myself feeling sadly about not being with my mom and our kids today..I get to choose what I think about next.

I choose to think of God's promise of eternal families and that I will be with my mother again one day. And I can think about my gratitude that our children are where they are supposed to be, doing what they are supposed to be doing, and then I am happy. Then I think of all the blessings they have brought to our lives and I feel joy. One of the secrets to a happy life is gratitude. You simply cannot be grateful and unhappy at the same time.

So on motherhood, I can only share my subjective feelings. My experiences are difference than yours. If I had to think of one word to sum up what my mothering experiences have given me beyond love or joy, it would be "Enrichment."

Have you ever added up the accumulative parenting and grandparenting years you have so far? It is quite astonishing to know that number. For Jim and me it is, 189 years. Seriously scary isn't it?

Have these kids been perfect? Not hardly. Have we been perfect in our parenting and grandparenting...far from it. But do we love them unconditionally and wholeheartedly and think they are the best kids in the whole world...absolutely. Parenthood is not about perfection it is about building a child, a life, and adopting and teaching a value system in a way that allows them the most advantage and opportunity in this life and the next. They are our best people. That is how we feel...

And you should feel exactly the same way
about your own family!

The width and breath of the experiences we have had as parents could not be gained any other way. The highs and lows, the hard knocks and the blows of disappointment, along with the triumphs and joys, are priceless enrichment in a mother and father's life. In the total scheme of things, I think children teach far more to parents than the other way around. We serve and teach them with all of our hearts and they then teach and serve us...it is the perfect circle of life.

There are so many important stages in raising a family. When I see young mothers I am in awe. When I see how hard you work I cannot even imagine that I too once did all of that. If you don't believe in ministering angels, you should they are all about you helping and lifting you when you think you can't do it another day...another minute.

In those years I barely remember what happened between 1972 and 1990. For example I could not name one record on the top 10 charts during that time and I love music. I was pretty much absent from the world, down in the trenches, just running and serving and caring for our family. I'd get through each day and fall exhausted into bed when I couldn't do any more. Then I'd get up the next morning and repeat.

For those of you in that stage right now, I want to assure you that although you will never be released of your calling as mother, you will see the day when you remember what actually happened a week ago, and what it is like not to be dragging all the time.

When that bitter sweet day comes and your last one flies out of the nest, you will grief the loss of it even though it is hard to imagine now. You will long for the days when you had them surrounding you at home. A word of warning about that recapturing of your memory and energy...it doesn't last too long so enjoy it while you can. It is one of the joys of the Empty Nest.

We teach and we pray for our little children continually to be protected from the perils of this crazy world and we worry. If you are holding on to that notion that age 18 is magical, and then your struggles will be over~think again. You always have concern for your boys and girls and pray for them no matter how old they are.

There are so many help books to read about the whole process of parenting. But to me it boils down to a few important things.

I use to love to read books by Richard Eyre and his wife Linda on raising kids. In fact, I still read their books. Parenting Adult Children lies on our bookshelf at home today. Richard Eyre is the originator of The Joy Schools, if you are familiar with them.

He has a new book about Parenting as God Does.
So why not simplify and look to the best parent of all for our mentoring? God our Father.
We can begin by remembering who our children really are and to help them remember too. They are our spiritual brothers and sisters and sons and daughters of a King! (This article by the Eyres is amazing and gives you some practical helps on how to do this.)
Examining How God Parents

"So here is a list of some of the things we know about how God, our Heavenly Father parents us.
  1. Complete, unconditional love. We know that God has a deep and unconditional love for each of us and that His love is individual rather than collective.
  1. God sees (and treats) each child as a unique and eternal individual. He knows each of us perfectly and loves the uniqueness that makes us each who we are.
  1. God gives clear, simple laws with well-announced consequences, rewards, and punishments. Our Heavenly Father has never been subtle or ambiguous about His rules. He wrote them in stone.
  1. God allows His children the chance to repent. Heavenly Father wants none of us to fail. His laws are not negotiable, and He knows we will fall short, so there is a provision for repentance.
  1. God taught us and trained us and held us close throughout the pre-mortal life; and then He gave us choices and let us go. God, in His marvelous model for parenting, held us close, kept us with Him in his home, and taught us all He could for eons. And then, when further progress required the responsibility, choice-making, independence and families-of-our-own that could not happen in His presence, He gave us our agency and let us go.
  2. ( I want to add here that when that time comes and they are gone realize, that your job as parents of adult children changes. We should love, support and give our two cents worth only when asked.) Still working on this one!
  1. God allows us constant availability to Him through prayer, and suggests regular communication. With God, there are certain set times when we anticipate spiritual communication--when we partake of the sacrament, when we kneel in family prayer, when we have our personal bedtime prayers. These are like set appointments for spiritual meetings that will keep us in tune and in touch.
  1. God finds joy in his children and in His relationship with them. This one we are good at!
God’s “glory” is the progress and eternal lives of His children, and “joy” is the purpose for which He made mortality. We know that he takes joy in our progress, in our learning, and in His individual relationship with each of us." Article here.
I would like to add a couple of ours to the list.

1. Teach them how to work and work hard. Everything we attain to in this life comes from hard work and lots of it. Sending a young adult out into the world without this skill, only comes back to bite you in the end. And coddling them along in their youth and doing everything for them is not doing them any favors in the long run.

2. Help them to love and support each other and be best friends. You do your best to be the glue that holds your family together when your children are grown. It takes work on your part, they are busy raising their own families, they love their siblings very much, they just don't have a lot of extra time and energy during this time in their lives to stay as connected as they would like.

*************

I love being a mother with all my heart and our family is what I live for, day in and day out. It helps me realize and fulfill the measure of my creation. It is ongoing and I try to never let it become ordinary or to forget what a blessing it is in all its aspects. From the heights of its joy to the depth of its sorrows, it is all good. It is an enrichment of our life experiences and teaches us to be more like Christ, like nothing else can. And when we think it cannot possibly get any better, the crowning glory of life comes along, being a grandparent. There is so much to be thankful for and family is at the top of the list. It is my prayer for all of us that that is where we will be our best selves. Charity, or the Pure Love of Christ, truly does begin at home.

Don't we all want it said of us one day ...that we had these traits from Proverbs 31 about a virtuous woman:
25Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
26She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
28Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. My personal favorite!
29Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
31Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

It is a life time pursuit for us as women. We need to have faith, pray often, follow our perfect exemplar and mentor, our Father in Heaven, and keep trying. Parenting is like filling our lamp with oil. Little by little, day by day we build our children with the things we say and do and the unconditional love we give them. It is humbling to realize how much faith our Father In Heaven has in us. It is my testimony that, one day at a time we can do it with His help.

***************


Please forgive the insufferable length of this post.

P.S. Happy Mother's Day Everyone, and to our sweet and precious daughters, Jen, Laura and Melissa this is your Mother's Day message from me. I love you with all of my heart and soul! You make me smile all the time. And that goes for the Chris, Robert and Lowell as well, and all the kids! As far as I'm concerned, every day is Mother's Day because I have all of you! So since I got absolutely no rest whatsoever today, just for the record...I am taking tomorrow off!
♥ ♥ ♥ and flowers to you all ~ Mom

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Melancholy Baby~For My Friend, Caroline


One of my sweetest friends lost her mother to cancer this past week. I feel a great love and empathy for her as I know how she served her mother very well all of her life, and especially over this past year with that terrible, devastating disease. I know how much she worried and stressed and wanted to change things for the better, and how much she prayed. I don't think anything draws you closer to a person than serving them during their deepest times of need.

And when it is your mother, it changes you. You love her more, you love your kids more, you love life more and take it less for granted. And you grieve in a way that cannot be explained. The price is high to be a member of this club.

I ran across this post I did last year about my own mom and it made me think about what my friend must be feeling now. So I thought I'd republish it here in the hope it might bring her some comfort and at least let her feel she is not alone. Love you, my friend! Wish I could help you! I am thankful you know where the comfort comes from and how to get it.


"I have been thinking about my mother more than usual lately. This month marks the 6th year anniversary of her death. The first thought that I had this morning when I awakened was that when your mother dies, a big piece of you goes with her. Ironically, she also become a bigger part of you at the exact same time. There is that big hole in your heart, a quiet, sacred place where she will always remain. I often think of the ways that she lead and gently guided and was always beside me.

I was struck with the feeling that there really cannot be a closer bond than that of mother and child, it is such a special and unique love. I am not saying it is more important than your love for your spouse, I am just saying the unconditional love for our spouse is something we strive for all of our lives and a lot of conditions are placed on that love. There must be trust, fidelity, etc., etc. I like to think in most cases of motherhood, selflessness is just a part of it from the beginning. For a good mother...the babies wants and needs and comfort always come first.

I think the mother/child relationship is the first place in our lives where we can feel and understand what unconditional love really is. It is the first place we get an inkling of how we are loved by God. I know not everyone has this kind of mother or is this kind of mother, but the potential is really there in the mother/child relationship like no other.

I am blessed to have a mother that knew and understood this. She was my biggest fan, my confidante, my very special friend and always there for me. In so many ways she truly gave her life for me and I miss her. Often times when I am just feeling melancholy...if I search my soul I find I am either thinking of her or one of our own children and missing them.

On Sunday we were reading and discussing the last verse in the Old Testament in Sunday School. Here is one of the places where family relationships are put into to their proper perspective. If the hearts of the fathers and the hearts of the children are not turned to each other the earth will be smitten with a curse. I know this verse has various layers of meaning but perhaps we are already seeing some of this 'smiting' in our world right now. Part of that is that so many mothers are trying to have it all and do it all. I am glad I didn't have a mom that divided herself in so many ways as to dilute her efforts as a mother, her heart was always turned to her family. I realize that I want to be remembered that way too.

Of course fathers are very important too. The relationship is just as vital, but different. There is just something so cellular about carrying and delivering a baby that makes motherhood so sacred and unique. But even more important than that is the service mothers render to children no matter how they receive them. Through that service, that natural love that is born even before the birth, grows by leaps and knows no bounds.

I have long recognized that when my mother was old and infirmed and I cared for her that my love for her grew in the same way. Without that service for the 12 years she lived after her brain surgery, I would have never loved her in the ways I do now. I am grateful to our Father in heaven for his plan, for eternal families and for the potential for joy that can be found in each one.

What did you notice as your first thoughts this morning? For me the morning time is a great time of reflection and thought. As soon as the day gets going I tend to just muddle through putting out fires and working on my to do list. But in the morning comes the most clarity of thought in my day. I guess that makes me a lark...rather than a night owl....and a bit of a melancholy baby when thinking about my beloved mother today.

Passed from this life to a better one
on November 15, 2003

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Mother's Day Eve

I woke up feeling really blue this morning which is a very rare thing for me. I was thinking about Mother's Day. Thoughts of my mom who passed away six years ago and our kids hundreds and thousands of miles away and before I knew it I was brushing away the tears. It felt good in a weird sort of way to think of them, and mourn the loss of having them near and to realize how very important they are to me and how much I miss them.

It made me so thankful for our eternal family relationships, but I still felt empty and alone in the here and now of it. I knew it was because I was thinking about how much I missed them all. I know that thoughts always precede feelings so I decided to try to kick it by thinking different thoughts.

This is what I thought about instead...

1. I am cooking dinner for Jim and his mom tomorrow and I'm going to be thankful that he still enjoys this relationship in his life. It is a blessing when your parents live to a ripe old age. Many are not so fortunate. Jim is so good to his Mom and to me too. I know he'll make it a nice day for us!


2. I am going to serve dinner in the dining room (we don't have to sit in the kitchen just because there are only three of us) and I am going to use my grandmother's china. That will be a reminder of all the lovely meals our family has eaten from them as we sat around the table together. My Grandmother and my Mom both loved these dishes and I do too!

I don't know how old they are but she has
been gone
for over 40 years.
I'd say they are at least 70 years old.

I was thinking about running out again to
get
some beautiful fresh flowers and suddenly...


Look what arrived on our doorstep from
Jennifer and Lowell and the girls a little later!
2 dozen beautiful roses. them!

3. I am going to go all out on the dinner. I just went and bought all the ingredients for my Mom's famous and delicious potato salad. I have never made it for just three people (it's usually 30!) but today I am.

This compote dish is just perfect
for our "crowd" tomorrow!


We're going to have a tri-tip roast and
sauteed mushrooms,

and artichokes and a
yummy green salad to go with it.


Mushrooms and garlic, a reminder of Jim's
Grandmother who was the best cook in the world.

And I am making my mom's wonderful peanut butter cookies, no body makes them like she did! They always remind me of her loving hands and nurturing ways. They'll be great with the chocolate ice cream that Jim's Mother loves so much.

I am going to serve the ice cream in these delicate,
pink, serbert glasses
that were my Mom's
and put some cookies in the little
saucer below it.

Warm and fresh from the oven!
{I know this over kill for 3 people but
I cannot make one batch of cookies.
Not when it is a once in every four year event.
I am serious. I have to figure out how
to use my mixer every time I take it out!}
Marie is probably hanging her head in shame for me!
4. I am going to try to talk to all the kids tomorrow but it may not happen as Chris is in Europe some place...I think Prague..with his engineering students. And with the time differences and church schedules it may be tough to get either of our European kidlets. If I don't I'll write them a letter letting them know that the best mother's day gift of all is being their mother. And the reality of that is that I celebrate them and motherhood every day of the year.

I am definitely going to talk to Missy and tell her how much we appreciate her as she supports Chris in his travels and is home alone with her four kids! And I am going to think of every beautiful baby that the Lord has blessed this family with! Pure joy each and every one of them.

This cute stork frame holds a photo of Julia
when she was born. It will represent all our
sweet babies as part of my
centerpiece on the table.

5. I am definitively thinking about and thankful for the sweet mothers of our grandchildren and what a super job they are doing in bringing up these little ones. They are tireless, unselfish, giving mothers and great wives. You go, sweet daughters, Jen, Laura and Missy! Sweet Melissa send me a gift certificate to Bath and Body Works and I plan to wear the beautiful bracelet that Laura send me from Rome all day tomorrow. And those roses, Jen! Yum! Thanks, kids, so much!

As soon as I got my mind off of what I didn't have (them nearby) and focused on what I do have (everything else) it made all the difference. And all that cooking helped too. Serving, keeping busy, and being thankful for the glass that is not only half full but overflowing... has turned my frown upside down.

Gratitude for our blessings from our Father in Heaven just makes us happy no matter what. That is one thing I know for sure. And service is the other. The love of a family trumps everything else. Time, space, distance can't touch it...it is forever. I am going to have a very Happy Mother's Day tomorrow, I hope you do too.

This is a perpetual Mother's Day card
from our kids. I take it out every year.
It is on a glitter board and
hangs with a ribbon.
It is made by Moonlight and RosesThey have great stuff!
The link

The topper of the day was seeing and listening to the Celine Dion's YouTube video! That totally kicked my melancholy mood to the curb! I had pre-posted it to post today at noon a few days ago. It is just below this post and I am putting on one more for tomorrow. It so totally expresses the beauty and love of a mother for her child.

I gave myself a gift today..I ordered that CD from Amazon! Am I the last person on the planet to get behind this album? I am kind of a recent fan of Celine Dion...she is so incredibly talented. I of course knew of her and some of her popular songs, I just kind of missed her until now if you know what I mean. So that was my day and my experiment on turning my day around. It worked...I am a believer!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

About A Boy


I write an awful lot about our girls and I would never want you to think I favor them over our wonderful son. We love them all the same ~ which is completely! Chris is our middle child and is sandwiched between our two girls. All the kids are three years apart in age. Chris was born in 1975 and I think the Lord sent us the best little boy possible as we had some rough roads ahead right after he was born.

Within three months of his birth, we lost Jim's brother and only sibling (age 26) in a terrible motorcycle accident and moved into the first home we ever purchased within just a few weeks. To say it was a stressful time would be grossly understated. Talk about putting us in a tailspin, that was the year if ever there was one.

The Lord sent us this beautiful little boy and somehow we got through the days and weeks of that first year, largely because he was such an angel. Chris has always been the best of sons. Honestly, he doesn't have an ounce of guile in him. He is kind, funny, has a winning smile and is so good-natured and was always obedient. He is a person who just seems to be so comfortable being himself. I would get so frustrated with his messy room and say very sternly, "Christopher Andrew, get in that room right this minute and get it picked up!" He would take the last bit of wind out of my sails with a good-natured..."OK, Momma!"

It was interesting raising one boy and two girls. The girls had their hormonal ups and downs but Chris just seemed to glide through things...always landing sunny side up. He is one of those people, as an adult, that works so incredibly hard but makes life look easy. His life has a flow to it that I truly envy and admire. He is calm and centered. Chris has never had self-esteem problems...he views himself as no better and or worse than anyone else. He lives a simple life and doesn't make himself crazy second guessing himself. If only that quality could be bottled and sold to the females on the planet.

Chris is our child that dug the deepest roots. He never wanted to leave home and our house and the community of friends he had established from his youngest years. He would come unglued if we even looked at houses in other places which we loved to do, especially in San Francisco. He wanted to stay put, after all this was HOME!

When he was a teenager he would often invite me into his room just to talk. He liked to run things by me and many a night we talked long and late about friends he was concerned about because they were on a wrong path. Sometimes it would be about his life in general and his future plans. He sought our advise often. He was always very compassionate about kids that really struggled with their parents and other issues. His best friend was Josh, and he had Cystic Fibrosis and died in his mid-twenties. Chris spent countless hours with Josh as the hospital playing Star Wars when they were little and just hanging out as they grew up.

He is a really musical guy and loved singing for me and playing his guitar. To this this day I miss those times so much. I remember him singing all kinds of versions of Rocky Raccoon to me and changing the lyrics as he went along just to make me laugh. He was an inventor in embryo, even then. He was a singer and performer from junior high on and learned to play the piano on his own right before his mission to South America. He was able to do this by transferring what he knew on the guitar and one day just sat down and started playing. It was mind-blowing and he used it through out his mission in most church meetings.


I loved to watch him learn from his Dad a lot of the important" guy things" and I still enjoy watching them work on projects together. He learned to play baseball and do his scouting projects to get his Eagle Scout Award with his Dad's interest and help. He learned to be a wonderful husband and father by following his Dad's good example. And just like his Dad he can fix anything. Right now he is remodeling their basement (with Missy's help) in his spare time. They has just finished digging out the window wells for the new windows in Connor's new bedroom.
He is a spiritual guy and prayed his way into BYU with a B+average when straight A's were preferred. Everyday he'd call me at lunch time to see if his acceptance letter had come in the mail yet. If not, he just kept tirelessly petitioning the Lord. He prayed his heart out and got in! He signed up for summer semester so he literally left home the night he graduated from High School. We picked him up at 3:30 am from Grad Night to get him to Utah the next day in time for his college orientation.

Since that time he has received his BS, MA, and a PhD in mechanical engineering. He served a two year mission for Jesus Christ in Brazil and since high school has only lived at home for four months after his mission until the next semester began.

Had I known on Grad Night it was not ever going to be the same after he left home, I would have cried a lot more and harder for the missing of such a fine boy! Somewhere during all of that time he grew into a brilliant man. I could keep up with my smart boy, but the brilliant man has been a lot harder. I tried to read his Master's thesis and after the first two paragraphs had no remote conception of what he was talking about. Engineering and inventions of these tiny mechanical devices somehow eludes me. Fortunately, his Dad gets that sort of technical stuff and could follow along and at least ask intelligent questions. As for me...not really. I like to talk to him about the other aspects of his life.


While Chris was in school he worked for an engineering firm in Utah and even went to live and work China for 18 months for them, after getting his doctorate in NY. The CEO wanted him to become a full partner with him but Chris decided to go to the academic side of engineering so he could do research and teach.
He is such a people person so that was a great choice for him. Being an educator has served him well for the last four year at the University. He has been married to Melissa for almost 13 years and they have three sons and one daughter. They have a wonderful happy little family. He serves as scout master in the church and travels a lot for the University and presents papers, gives lectures and gets grants for research, etc. along with teaching classes.

So the reason I am telling you all this, is not for his benefit...he does not read the blog...as he has no time. But it is to let you know that I don't write about him as much because I don't get that much time with him. The truth is I miss him terribly but, I just try to make the best of it as I know he is doing exactly what he should be doing. He is independent, spiritual, happy in his marriage and a wonderful father. He is doing what we raised him to do and everything we wanted him to do. But the truth is that his successes have come because of who he is. He just came that way. We were blessed. And we are so very proud of all his goodness and his accomplishments in setting and reaching his goals.

He has lived 17 of his 35 years away from us and that is so hard for me. He is so good to call us and he treats me like a queen when we are together and always has. He is a best friend to both Jim and to me. I realize as I have been writing this how very much I miss him and those special times we use to have just talking and hanging out when he never wanted to even think about leaving home.


And look at him now. I am still surprised when I see him and he is a MAN. In my mind's eye he is still that 18 year old boy going off into his future, none of us knowing it was the end of an era. And suddenly I am feeling emotional and there are tears running down my cheeks.

When he was a little boy he was sometimes sad that he didn't have a brother to play with. I always told him it was because we could never love another little boy as much as we loved him. I was mostly trying to appease and comfort my little, lonely boy, but in reality I was telling him the absolute truth. The extent of which I barely knew myself at that time.



Tuesday, August 4, 2009

For Shelli~ As She Keeps On Keeping On!

I read this post Spilled Milk and Frozen Chicken, from my sweet, young friend, Shelli, this morning and wanted to re-post one I did awhile back as my reply to her. Shelli is working nights and tending her tiny baby during the day. You are amazing you very much!


Punch Toys From Days Gone By

When I was a child there were these toys called punch or bop toys. Usually they were 24 to 36 inches tall and they were made of heavy vinyl. Often they had a picture of a clown on them but not always. The toy was filled with air and then they put some sand in the bottom to make it heavier than the other end. Then you could punch the daylights out of it and it would continually pop back up to the upright position. Now flash forward a few decades.

Recently I have read posts on favorite blogs written by mothers and the horrendous days they have had with their kids. My friend Laura writes about Finger Painting with Ranch. Just the other day I read this one from Vanessa called I Knew Going In. All three of the links to these young mothers' post are worth reading if you get a chance!) We have all had these experiences~different scenarios but the same feelings of exhaustion, desperation, and discouragement.

Although these things seem funny to the rest of us looking in and also maybe even to these young moms after a good night's sleep or two, I think these experiences speak volumes about the amazing character of these great mothers and women. Now I know the same is true of men. But for today I am just talking about women, motherhood, commitment and love.

Women have an uncanny ability to just keep coming back for more and that is what I was thinking about with regards to the punch toys. For me that visual image of getting knocked over and popping right back up is pretty analogous to what moms do every single day. I believe these types of experiences in addition to all the joyous ones, drive the level of love and commitment deeper and deeper into our character every time we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and keep on going. It takes an incredibly healthy, strong, and loving person to do it and that is one of the reasons I love young moms so much. When I watch our daughters, Jen, Laura, and now Missy, go about their regular days I am totally in awe. They do so much, tirelessly serving their families and working to raise these outstanding little people. I honestly don't know how they do it and I cannot even imagine that I once did it too. That is the beauty of the trials and tribulations of the daily routine...they seem to fade like the memories of labor and delivery. And one day all you remember is the love you feel for your kids and how you don't know where you end and they begin. So take heart, my little sisters~its all good in the long run. One day at a time~you are all amazing!


Thursday, June 5, 2008

Unfinished Woman


"An Unfinished Woman"
by: -Jaroldeen Asplund Edwards



Here am I, Lord,
The dishes barely done and night long since fallen,
The children would not go to bed
And would not go and
Would not go
And now they are gone.
Gone to places of their own with children of their own
Who will not go to bed and will not go...
And I have taught them what I could and
They have learned the things they would
And now they've gone their way alone to learn the rest
Most on their own.

And I remain, not half spent.
And I remain, not yet content,
So much to do, so much to learn.
So much to fell, so much to yearn.
My past mistakes make stepping-stones,
Not millstones great around my neck but
Stones to guide my searching feet
And I must search; I'm incomplete.

I watch my years go tumbling by
And I must use them better, I
Have yet so much to learn and do
Before I can return to You.

The hour is late. The night comes on,
My celestial self I would become.
Ah! What wisdom thou gavest to mortal life---

I,
As sister, mother, daughter, wife
In earthly roles have seen Thy face.
In my womanly life Thy heavenly place
Is taught through humble tasks and pain.
So, if royal robes I would obtain,
To wear as all Thy glories burst
I'll need to do the laundry first.


This lady, mother of 12, recently passed away and my friend's mom attended her funeral. What a great talent~just loved this poem and wanted to share it with all of you who do not read Laura's Blog.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

No Such Thing As Just a Mom!


"A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk 's office was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. 'What I mean is,' explained the recorder, 'do you have a job or are you just a....?' 'Of course I have a job,' snapped the woman. 'I'm a Mom.' 'We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation, 'housewife' covers it,' said the recorder emphatically.

I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient and possessed of a high sounding title like, 'Official Interrogator' or 'Town Registrar.' 'What is your occupation?' she probed. What made me say it? I do not know. The words simply popped out. 'I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations.' The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written, in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.

'Might I ask,' said the clerk with new interest, 'just what you do in your field?' Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, 'I have a continuing program of research, [what mother doesn't) in the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family) and already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money.' There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby) in the child development program, testing out a new vocal pattern.

I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than 'just another Mom.' Motherhood! What a glorious career! Especially when there's a title on the door.

Does this make grandmothers 'Senior Research Associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations' and great grandmothers 'Executive Senior Associate Researchers? Yes it does! I also think it makes Aunts 'Associate Research Assistants'. "

Never underestimate the importance, power, and influence in what you do as women, every single day. Is there any job more important or rewarding any where?