Wow! Best Ever Post on Marriage...

One of the very best things I have ever read about marriage and love can be found here.

http://tinyurl.com/7vo4bt2

Ann Voskamp's post is quoted in part below. The link above will take you to her blog and the entire post.

"I think we were standing outside the back door, out by the white pickup under the Big Dipper, when I turned and said it.

Said I hated him.

The dark can make you brave.

Or a fool.

But when you’re twenty-two and think you know everything, panic
can tear up your chest like this howl that has to rip free.

“I hate it when you stand there all quiet.”

He kicks the ground with the toe of his boot, drives his hands deep into his Wranglers. Does he hear me at all?

“Hate how you just pull away. Hate how you always think I’m the problem and it’s never you. Hate it, hate it — hate y…”

There. There it is, spewn sick over everything. And the moment that ugliness wrenches free, I feel released — and wretched. Ill.

I want to fling that wedding band encircling my finger and everything. And I want to somehow hold on tight.

I want him to hold me tight.

He turns his back....."

To finish reading the post click on the link above. Ann is one of the best bloggers/writers on the Internet in my opinion. Her blog is an experience, not just a read. Enjoy, Bonnie

What Will You Say?

I found this on my Facebook page, one of my friends from Jackson, Mississippi had posted it there. Thanks Linda, I really love this, it really speaks to the truth.

Bronnie Ware is a writer, singer/songwriter, songwriting teacher and speaker from Australia. She has lived nomadically for most of her adult life. These are some insights she has gained over the years working with dying patients.

"For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness."

Contradiction ~ Quoted From (In)Courage.Me

I have mentioned before how much I love the site, (in)courage.me. It is a select group of amazing women who write about their spiritual thoughts and experiences. I thought this one by Angela Nazworth was fantastic. Enjoy, and check out the excellent articles on their site.

With ♥ Bon

Posted: 14 Jun 2010 09:38 AM PDT

"Recently, I was reminded of the awkward girl who inhibited this body of mine more than 15 years ago. Yes, I’ll admit, her body was leaner and her stomach flat. Hardly, the body I see in the mirror today. But less recognizable to me is her personality. She barely spoke above a whisper or made eye contact with others.

She walked stiffly, wore a veil of rejection, and held a basket of fears.

Perhaps that girl reminds you of someone whose reflection flashed in the mirror of your youth. I think those character traits are shared by many. And even for those of us who tightly closed the doors of the past, there are still reminders.

Not necessarily painful memories, because true healing is the best pain reliever, but more like souvenirs from a different lifetime that hint toward progress and validation. Knowing who we were then helps us better identify who we are now.

However, for as much as I have changed for the better (and I owe that change to the grace of God), a few ragged remnants remain. I long for the day when I finally throw those scraps away. What a contradiction of character that I still hold them, unable to assign them to the trash heap in which they belong. One tattered fragment that still yields power is perfectionism. Granted, that power is waning, but it’s still present.

Frankly, it’s almost silly that it hangs around. Perfectionism is nothing more than a form of pride, even though I often mistake it for “caring about others." It’s perfectionism that causes me to put on the verbal boxing gloves and berate myself for a lapse in judgment.

Truth is, I’m going to mess up. I’m going to fall short. Despite my best intentions, I’m going to mildly offend some people and enrage others. Some of the mistakes I make will be huge and marred with selfishness. Others will be small, unintentional blunders like forgetting someone’s name or speaking out of turn.

What I’m learning is that while it is absolutely necessary to accept responsibility for my mistakes…even the innocent ones and especially the ones that hurt others…it also is absolutely necessary that I not dredge up those errors as a means of self-deprecation.

In other words, I’m forgiven. I’m forgiven even if the person I grieved chooses not to forgive me. I’m forgiven even if I choose not to let go of my mistakes.

Here’s something else. I’m loved. I’m loved even if the world calls me a fool and my friends abandon me. I’m loved the same amount whether I’m volunteering in a nursing home or cussing because I stubbed my toe.

And, here’s one more…I'm understood. I’m understood even if someone looks at me like I’ve parachuted in from another planet. No, God doesn’t always agree with my thoughts and actions. But, He understands my heart. He made it. He speaks to it. He pieces it back together after it’s been wounded.

He holds it.

He owns it.

He has made it whole.

“But when full understanding comes, these partial things will become useless. When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.” -- I Cor. 13: 10-12 (NLT)

by Angela Nazworth, Becoming Me

Oprah Talks To Daniel Pink

I was looking through the new December issue of O Magazine and I thought this interview was very interesting. Are you a left or right brained person? Actually, I always have a hard time remembering which is which...does that make me a lame brain? Probably!

Anyway, I thought it was very logical and something that as parents and grandparents of young children we could continue to encourage the artistic side of our children not only for their enrichment but possibly for their very livelihood as adults. Anyway, here is a little teaser to help entice you to take a peek at this article.

"Your left brain is logical, linear, by-the-numbers; the right side is creative, artistic, empathetic. Oprah talks with Daniel Pink about his groundbreaking book, A Whole New Mind, and explores how right-brain thinkers are wired for 21st-century success....
A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future, by business and technology writer Daniel Pink. Daniel, a former chief speechwriter for Vice President Al Gore, presents a convincing argument that our country is entering a new era—the so-called Conceptual Age—during which right-brained skills such as design and storytelling will become far more crucial than traditionally left-brained skills such as accounting and computer programming. "

Find out why here

This makes a lot of sense to my left brain and causes a lot of excitement in my right brain!

Photo of Oprah and Daniel Pink by George Burns

Economic Moaning...

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

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How are you all doing with the state of your money right now? Are you spending less, shopping differently, moving your portfolio around, skipping Christmas, stuffing money under your mattress? Do you catch yourself sighing with relief that gas is only $3.59 per gallon? Every time I catch myself doing that, I remind myself that is all part of the plan to have us accept these outrageous prices as a " good deal" in a market that doubled the prices in less that one year.

I am looking more closely at ways to use it up, wear it out, or do without, are you? I am reviewing my wardrobe and keeping more things and buying way less. I am just not buying clothes this season because heaven know I do not need them. After evaluating the whole situation I only need a pair of jeans...that is it.

Another place we are being a lot more careful is the kitchen. We are being less wasteful and shopping in the less expensive stores. Lanette just recently did a post about buying produce at the 99 cent store. With all the produce this household goes through I am checking that out this week.

We are not skipping Christmas but we are definitely cutting back. I know I say that every year but this time I am dead serious. Shipping has gotten so expensive that I am buying all I can on Amazon to avoid all of the congestion at the PO and the outrageous prices. If your plan your purchases you can get free shipping by bundling up your purchases instead of ordering one thing at a time. We are simply simplifying on as many levels as we can. We are trying to save as much $ as we can, in earnest and really looking for places that we have been frivolous in the past. I say we, but I really mean me. Jim is great about not spending money...thank goodness! When would he ever find any time to shop?


Some of these things are going to be hard for all of us, but I feel that we are all very adaptable and that if we are careful and prudent we will all be fine! Do you agree or am I just being overly optimistic? I just have faith that if we do what we should we will be blessed. And you?

Since this whole thing does not a pretty picture make...I decided to add one!

Did you know..."You can never get enough of what you don't need?"
Mary Ellen Edmonds

Think About it, It Is So True!!

Intrique In Italy

"ROME (Reuters) - When in Capri, don't wander off the beach in a bikini. If you go to the sea in Eraclea, near Venice, remember that building sandcastles is forbidden. And don't even think about mowing your lawn on the weekend in Forte Dei Marmi.

Emboldened by a nationwide crackdown on crime and a government decree giving them extra law-and-order powers, Italian mayors have issued a string of often bizarre by-laws to enhance "public decorum."

Public displays of affection in a car can earn you a fine of up to 500 euros ($745) in Eboli, feeding pigeons is off-limits in the centre of Lucca while in Novara groups of more than two people are forbidden from lounging around in parks at night.

Italian newspapers have dubbed this year's holiday season "the summer of bans." But this week one town hall was forced to acknowledge things may have gone too far.

Rodrigo Piccoli, 33, called national radio to protest after he was fined 50 euros for lying down in a park in the northern city of Vicenza to read a book. The mayor has since promised to drop the ban."

Sardinia

Laura and Robert and the boys are off to Sardinia for a week. I hope they had a chance to glance at the news before they left. Considering the need for cracking down on crime in Italy I feel they're kinda barking up the wrong trees here. Pretty humorous, don't you think? How about making not picking up the garbage against the law? Or campfire girls on every corner? Or posting signs in public places that say, "Pick Pocketing For Life"? Truth is stranger than fiction as they say! Hey family....absolutely no sandcastle building while on the island...ya hear? And, Robert, no smoochin' on Laura in public, especially in the car! If you must make sure the coast is clear!

Deja Vu

"You've probably heard of "deja vu," the illusion of having previously experienced a situation that is happening now. Here are some related expressions. Feel like I've...

...milked this cow before: deja moo


...seen this strange animal before: deja gnu

...smelled this bad odor before: deja phew

...visited this menagerie before: deja zoo

...scared this person away before: deja boo

...read this mystery book before: deja clue

...been in this courtroom before: deja sue

...felt this bad before: deja rue

...felt this sad before: deja blue

...expanded this way before: deja grew

...learned this stuff before: deja knew

...waited in line before: deja queue

...eaten this dinner before: deja stew

...pursued this person before: deja woo

...forgotten this your name before: deja who

...had this feeling of deja vu before: deja too

...seen these twins before: deja two

...used this beer recipe before: deja brew

...been on this airplane before: deja flew

...came up with this innovation before: deja new

...sketched this portrait before: deja drew

...ended this relationship before: deja through

...felt this ill before: deja flu

...munched on this gum ball before: deja chew

...played in this wet grass before: deja dew

...admired this scenery before: deja ooo

...exposed the real facts before: deja true"

From Google Home Page

Why am I the One Who ALWAYS Puts the TP on the TP Holder in this House?

Enlightenment

Simply Stated By RealSimple.com by Gretchen Rubin

"I love discovering apt psychological terms for phenomena that I’ve noticed in my own life. I recently learned the term “unconscious overclaiming”—and realized that I’m a big offender.

In “unconscious overclaiming,” we unconsciously overestimate our contributions or skills relative to other people’s. For example, in one study, when students in a work group each estimated their contribution to the team, the total was 139 percent.

This makes sense, because of course we’re far more aware of what we do than what other people do. I complain about the time I spend organizing babysitting or paying bills, but I overlook the time my husband spends dealing with our car or food-shopping. Also, we tend to do work that we think is valuable, and think that other people’s priorities aren’t as important. I think writing thank-you notes is important, and baking brownies is less important. My husband takes the opposite view.

It’s easy to see that overclaiming leads to resentment. So now when I find myself thinking, “I’m the only one around here who bothers to…” or “Why do I always have to be the one who…?” I remind myself of all the tasks I don’t do.

A funny related bias is the “Lake Wobegon effect,” the tendency of most people to believe they rate above average. (It’s named for Garrison Keillor’s imaginary town of Lake Wobegon, where “all the children are above average.”) Studies show that most people think they’re above average in fairness, luck, popularity, investing ability, and many other traits. In one survey, 80% of respondents put themselves in the top 30% of all drivers.

I love the mere word “overclaiming.” It’s perfect for what it describes. Are there any area in which you tend to “overclaim” your contribution, relative to other people?

We Can't See the Forest Through The Fog Sometimes!

Ways to Save Money

Twelve Tips for Spending Less

from Simply Stated By RealSimple.com by Gretchen Rubin

"These are tough economic times, and lots of people are feeling the stress. If you’re trying to cut down on your spending, try following some of these strategies:

1. Pay cash. Studies show that people find it much easier to spend money when they’re using a cash substitute (they also find it easier to cheat or pilfer!). Keep yourself in touch with cost, by using cold hard cash.

2. Focus on small items first. When you buy an expensive item, it’s easy to toss in unthinkingly a lot of smaller items alongside it – items that you might have otherwise have spent a lot of time considering, and which add up to a lot of $$$. So pick out smaller items first, then the larger item. Buy the software, the mouse, the mousepad, and the other bits and bobs, then choose the computer.

3. Don’t buy too much at one time. If you’re buying too many things, you stop paying attention to what you’re getting. Any one item seems insignificant. I call this “shop shock” or “drive-by shopping.”

4. Don’t buy anything at a bargain store that you haven’t bought before at full price.

5. Before paying, review each of your purchases with a skeptical eye. Don’t buy anything you’re not sure you want and can use – this is particularly important with clothes. I often ask myself, “Do I feel like wearing this tomorrow?” Sometimes, I realize I’ve picked something out because I can “use” it – but really, if I don’t love something, I almost never end up wearing it, no matter how useful it might be.

6. Don’t tell yourself, “I can always return it”; remind yourself, “I can come back if I decide I need it.”

7. Make a list and stick to it.

8. Don’t buy anything that needs to be a specific size unless you KNOW the measurements you need.

9. Don’t shop when you’re hungry. Even for non-food items.

10. Don’t shop as an activity with friends. It’s easy to spend more than you intend, or to buy something you don’t really need or want, when you’re distracted by conversation. Find something else to do with your friends. Have lunch, go for a walk, run errands together (in high school, my friends and I used to do errands together all the time, and it’s a great way to turn a nagging task

into something fun).

11. Be very skeptical of anything that’s on sale.

12. If you don’t shop, you don’t buy. Stay out of stores."

I am not sure I agree with all of these like #2 and #10. If I don't pick out my computer first how do I know what else I need? Just be careful with the add-ons. Shopping with my shopping pals is the best. But I do like most of Gretchen's ideas.

Here are a few of my own tips:

I have been working on this lately in preparation~ for the big R word..Retirement. Now I know Jim will never really retire and that is great, we'll just call it "Jim's Rewirement."

1. Think of money in terms of accumulation not acquisition. This is hard in our material society but I have found it helps me when I want to buy something I don't really need. Online banking is great for watching your savings grow anytime you sign on .

2. Do comparison shopping. I am still boycotting Safeway and I know I am saving lots on food by going to Food Max. It is not my favorite environment but I am not there to enjoy the ambiance (this is rare for me). I would rather get a better price and forgo the storm symphony over the produce, the Starbucks, etc. I will admit that I do go to Whole Foods for the ambiance, but that is rare and I only buy a few things.

3. On discretionary purchases, walk around just holding the item or pushing it in your cart~revisit your decision before you get to the check out counter. I learned this one from my girls. Sometimes just knowing you can have it if you really want it ~ is enough. Many, in fact most purchases are emotionally based.

4. When clothes shopping ask, "How does this fit into my current wardrobe?" I am much more apt to buy it if it is compatible with something I already have. If I buy something more trendy...I don't spend a lot for it. I don't buy a lot of things that will last 10 years because I don't want to keep them that long! Not that I am any kind of a fashion person, but I do know that it is like decorating in many ways. It is not so much what you paid for it as how you put it together that makes an outfit work.

5. Be prudent and wise with your money. Save ~but don't hoard. Build security while also enjoying your $. In a nutshell~balance! Let your assets be an important part of your life, not your whole life. Use some of what you have to bless others. Being a tightwad is annoying and boorish, being generous whenever possible is a good thing.

6. Sometimes second hand things can be a great way to save and still enjoy what you are aching for! Shop garage sales, thrift shops, etc. Say yes to something someone else may be giving away if you think there is any way your can recycle it. This is how we got practically everything we owned when we were first married and we still have a lot of those things.

7. Stay Organized so you don't forget what you have and where it is. There is little more frustrating than knowing you have something you need, but not knowing where you put it.

8. Rarely Pay Full Price~Just about everything eventually goes on sale. Watch and wait! Then on the times you do pay full price you can remember all those times you didn't and feel better about it!

9. Coins add up whether you are saving or spending.

10. Credit scores matter. Pay your bills (not an option) and pay them on time. Avoid credit card debt like the plague it is. They say "nothing tastes as good as thin feels," well, nothing is more rewarding that actually owning what you surround yourself with either.

What can you share that has helped you
be wise
in saving and spending your loot?

Winners vs. Losers

When a winner makes a mistake, he says, “I was wrong;”

When a loser makes a mistake, he says, “It wasn’t
my fault.”

A winner works harder than a loser and has more time;
A loser is always “too busy” to do what is necessary.

A winner goes through a problem;
A loser goes around it, and never gets past it.

A winner makes commitments;
A loser makes promises.

A winner says, “I’m good, but not as good as I ought to be;”
A loser says, “I’m not as bad as a lot of other people.”

A winner listens;
A loser just waits until it is his turn to talk.

A winner respects those who are superior to him
and tries to learn something from them;
A loser resents those who are superior to him
and tries to find chinks in their armor.

A winner feels responsible for more than his job;
A loser says, “I only work here.”

By Pat Williams, a former NBA general manager

It's all Attitude, Man!

I ran across this quote today and thought I wish I had read this sooner; like when Jen and I were going CRAZY in the hospital this month.

“Nothing is miserable unless you think it so; and on the other hand, nothing brings happiness unless you are content with it.” --Boethius *

So in keeping with this great quote from now on Jen and I will be referring to our excursions to Primary Children's Hospital as Hazel's Trip to the Health Spa. It seems to work since it is very pricey, everyday they give her a luxurious bath, do her hair with a pretty bow, give her fresh linens daily, breakfast, lunch and dinner in bed, and they give her a total body massage with heat wrap every time they need a vein!" This new paradigm should do wonders when she goes in for a possible surgical "enhancement procedure" in about five weeks. I like to call it that since a "bladder lift" makes her sound much older than she actually is.

Hazel Jo's Intermountain Beauty & Health Spa for Children!

All kidding aside, we are grateful for this place and thankful for all who labor so diligently there for the good of our babies!

We know we will return and I am loving it more already! For now though, it is great to be home.

Choices

"John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, 'If I were any better, I would be twins!' He was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation. Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him,'I don't get it!''You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?'He replied, 'Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or...you can choose to be in a bad mood I choose to be in a good mood. 'Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or...I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.

'Yeah, right, it's not that easy,' I protested. 'Yes, it is,' he said. 'Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life.'

I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it. Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.

I saw him about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, 'If I were any better, I'd be twins...Wanna see my scars?'I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.

'The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter,' he replied. 'Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or..I could choose to die. I chose to live.''Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?' I asked. He continued, '...the paramedics were great.They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action.'

'What did you do?' I asked. 'Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me,' said John. 'She asked if I was allergic to anything 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity'' Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.'

He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing

attitude...I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.' Matthew 6:34.

After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. " Source e-mail ?

Facts to Consider

"This should be posted in all schools and work places

Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this! Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good,politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2 : The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time..

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one."

Sisters

"A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot, humid day,
drinking iced tea and talked with her Mother.

As they talked about life, about marriage, about the
responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood,
the Mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully
and turned a clear and sober glance upon her daughter.

'Don't forget your sisters,' she advised, swirling the
tea leaves to the bottom of her glass.
They'll be more important as you grow older.
No matter how much you love your husband,
no matter how much you love the children you have,
you are still going to need your sisters.
Remember to go places with them now
and then; do things with them.'

'Remember that sisters means all women...
your girlfriends, your daughters, your mother
and all your other women relatives too.
You'll need other women. Women always do.'

'What a funny piece of advice the young woman thought.
Haven't I just gotten married?
Haven't I just joined the couples' world?
I'm now a married woman for goodness sake!
A grown-up! Surely my husband and the family we
start will be all I need to make life worthwhile.'

But she listened to her Mother. She kept contact with
her sisters and made more women friends each year.
As the years tumbled by, one after another,
she gradually came to understand that her Mom
really knew what she was talking about.
As time and nature work their changes and their
mysteries upon a woman~
Sisters are the mainstay of her life.

After more than 50 years of living in this world,
here is what I have learned for sure...

Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.
Children grow up.
Others sometimes mess up.
Hearts break.
Parents die.
People forget kindnesses.
Careers end.

But...Sisters are always there no matter
how far away or how many miles between you.
A sister is never farther away than needing her can reach.
Everyday we need each other still."

Family First

I ran across this poem and it reminded me of a post I did on Rossie recently. Somehow, it just reminded me of his exuberance in picking flowers for his Mom and that all little boys first love is Mommy. It just made me think about how tender little kids' hearts are and how we shape them by what we say and do.

"I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
"Oh, excuse me please" was my reply.

He said, "Please excuse me too,
I wasn't watching out for you."

We were very polite, this stranger and I
We went our way while saying good-bye.

But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very very still.

When I turned, I nearly knocked him down,
"Get out of the way!" I said with a frown.

Hw walked away, his little heart broken,
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

While I lay awake that night in bed
God's still small voice came to me and said,

"While dealing with a stranger
Common courtesy you use,
but the family you love,
you seem to abuse.

Go out and look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the door.

Those are the flowers he brought for you,
He picked them himself; pink, yellow and blue.

He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise
He left without you seeing the tears in his eyes.

By this time I felt amazingly small,
As own my tears were beginning to fall.

I quietly went and knelt by his bed,
"Wake up, little one, wake up!" I said.

"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
"Ah huh, I found 'em out by the tree.

I picked 'em cuz they're pretty like you
I knew you'd like 'em, 'specially the blue!"

"Son I'm very sorry for the way I acted today
It's OK Mama, I love you anyway!"

"Sweetheart, I love you so much too
And I like the flowers, especially the blue!'

*************

I do not know who wrote this but I don't think I will
every receive a flower or a colored picture
from a little one again, without thinking of it.

Unfinished Woman

"An Unfinished Woman"
by: -Jaroldeen Asplund Edwards


Here am I, Lord,
The dishes barely done and night long since fallen,
The children would not go to bed
And would not go and
Would not go
And now they are gone.
Gone to places of their own with children of their own
Who will not go to bed and will not go...
And I have taught them what I could and
They have learned the things they would
And now they've gone their way alone to learn the rest
Most on their own.

And I remain, not half spent.
And I remain, not yet content,
So much to do, so much to learn.
So much to fell, so much to yearn.
My past mistakes make stepping-stones,
Not millstones great around my neck but
Stones to guide my searching feet
And I must search; I'm incomplete.

I watch my years go tumbling by
And I must use them better, I
Have yet so much to learn and do
Before I can return to You.

The hour is late. The night comes on,
My celestial self I would become.
Ah! What wisdom thou gavest to mortal life---

I,
As sister, mother, daughter, wife
In earthly roles have seen Thy face.
In my womanly life Thy heavenly place
Is taught through humble tasks and pain.
So, if royal robes I would obtain,
To wear as all Thy glories burst
I'll need to do the laundry first.

This lady, mother of 12, recently passed away and my friend's mom attended her funeral. What a great talent~just loved this poem and wanted to share it with all of you who do not read Laura's Blog.

Taming The Green-Eyed Monster

I read this post the other day and really thought it was worth sharing. I really like this Real Simple blog site, they have all kinds of interesting stuff everyday. In keeping with Jen's post from yesterday I will occasionally be blog-jacking something I either want to keep and/or share. Giving credit where credit is due, you will always find the source and quotation marks around the message.

Taming the Green-Eyed Monster

from Simply Stated By RealSimple.com by Corynne Corbett

"Both of my parents worked so after school my sisters and I went to the babysitter's house across the street until they got home. She had a huge house, and it was full of children (her own as well as others). The great thing was there was always someone to play with but the challenge was with so many people around you had to jockey for attention.

One of her nephews only visited occasionally yet he made an impression on me because he never wanted the focus to be off of him (kind of difficult with 12 children running around). No matter what anyone said, his reply was always the same: "How about me?" Although I don't remember his name, I remember this annoying refrain because he was an only child who had a meltdown when it wasn't about him. Nowadays, we'd all like to think we've outgrown these childish habits. We don't have regularly scheduled meltdown moments unless we are members of that special breed of society called Drama Queens. But I digress...Yet instead of abandoning our feelings of envy we've learned to mask them. We've found more subtle ways to unleash the green-eyed monster.

One of my favorite signs of envy is the back-handed compliment. This is the worst kind of give and take because we are actually saying something nice and then peppering it with criticism. If we're caught doing this we often try to make everyone think that we are actually really happy about whatever the circumstance (even though we aren't). I realize that many of us have an initial response not so different from that little boy. We think to ourselves, "why didn't such and such happen to me?" Of course, we don't want to admit that this is our first thought. But it does happen to all of us. I think it's okay if the thought passes through your mind but doesn't take up residence. When those feelings hang around too long, that's when the problems begin.

So what's the best way to tame the green-eyed monster? First, you have to remember that life's peaks and valleys are different for everyone. When a friend is up we may be in the valley (or vice versa) so we need to celebrate those highs with them so they'll be there with us. Next, we have to see envy for what it is instead of acting like those feelings aren't there. I hate to mix metaphors but it really is the 800lb. pink elephant in the room. If you can see it, you're less likely to be trampled by its effects. Instead, teach yourself some new tricks and ride those feelings right out of your life. "

I really like this because haven't we all had people in our lives that are experts at the back-handed compliments. You go..."thanks", and then realize..."hey, wait a minute"? People can often get away with a lot in the form of a back-handed compliment, a "just kidding" remark, or just by being envious and selfish about everything. This is such a big part of the pride of this generation that President Benson talked about during his life time. It is also the 'scarcity mentality' that Stephen Covey talks about. I want to be aware of it and never catch myself engaging in it. It is so destructive and counterproductive to relationships.

Can You Relate?

A Michigan woman and her family were vacationing in a small new England town where Paul Newman and his family often visited.

One Sunday morning, the woman got up early to take a long walk. After a brisk five-mile hike, she decided to treat herself to a double-dip chocolate ice cream cone.

She hopped in the car, drove to the center of the village and went straight to the combination bakery/ice cream parlor.

There was only one other patron in the store.? Paul Newman, sitting at the counter having a doughnut and coffee.

The woman's heart skipped a beat as her eyes made contact with those famous baby-blue eyes.

The actor nodded graciously and the star struck woman smiled demurely.

Pull yourself together!? She chides herself. You're a happily married woman with three children. You're forty-five years old, not a teenager!

The clerk filled her order and she took the double-dip chocolate ice cream cone in one hand and her change in the other. Then she went out the door, avoiding even a glance in Paul Newman's direction.

When she reached her car, she realized that she had a handful of change but her other hand was empty. Where's my ice cream cone? Did I leave it in the store? Back into the shop she went, expecting to see the cone still in the clerk's hand or in a holder on the counter or something. No ice cream cone was in sight.

With that, she happened to look over at Paul Newman.? His face broke into his familiar warm friendly grin and he said to the woman, 'You put it in your purse.'

Thinking About Mom

The Images of a Mom

4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything!

8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!

12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.

14 YEARS OF AGE - Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.

16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.

18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She's way out of date!

25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it.

35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's get Mom ' s opinion.

45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?

65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mom.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. The beauty of a woman is not seen in a beautiful face, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!

Grandma's Hands

"Grandma, some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench. She didn't move, just sat with her head down staring at her hands. When I sat beside her she didn't acknowledge my presence and the longer I sat I wondered if she was OK. Finally not wanting to disturb her but wanting to check on her at the same time, I asked her if she was OK. She raised her head and looked at me and smiled, 'Yes I am fine, thank you for asking,' she said in a clear strong voice. 'I didn't mean to disturb you, Grandma but you were just sitting here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK. '

'Have you ever looked at our hands, I mean REALLY looked at them?' she asked. I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them. I turned them over, palms up and then palms down. 'No, I guess I had never really looked at them,' I said, as I tried to figure out the point she was making. Grandma smiled and related this story:

'Stop and think a moment about the hands you have, how they have served you well throughout your life. These hands, though wrinkled, shriveled and weak have been the tools that I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life.

They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler I crashed upon the floor. They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. As a child my mother taught me to fold them in prayer. They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots. They held my husband and wiped away my tears when he went off to war. They have been dirty, scraped, and raw, swollen and bent. They were uneasy and clumsy when I held my new born son. Decorated with my wedding ring they showed the world that I was married and loved by someone special. They wrote my letters to him and trembled and shook when I buried my parents and my spouse. They held my children and grandchildren, consoled neighbors, and shook in fists when I did not understand. They have covered my face, combed my hair, washed and cleansed the rest of my body. They have been sticky and wet, broken, dried and raw. And to this day when not much of anything else works really well, these hands hold me up, lay me down, and still continue to fold in prayer.

These hands are the mark of where I have been and the ruggedness of life. But more importantly these will be the hands that God will reach out and take when He leads me home. And with His hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hand to touch the face of Christ.'

I have never looked at my hands again in the same way. But I remember God reached out and took my Grandma's hands and led her home. When my hands are hurt or sore or when I stroke the face of my husband and children, I think about Grandma. I know she has been stroked and caressed and held by the hands of God.

Someday, I too want to touch the face of God and feel His hands upon my face."

Grampa and Gramma Yeasley

I really loved this when I read it and it reminded me so much of my own grandmother Alice Grace Godfrey Colberg Yeasley. How's that for a name? She was the only blood line grandparent I ever knew. My Grampa here is Jacob Yeasley whom she married when my dad was an adult. They were both so wonderful and I have such fond memories of them and loved them both so much. We would go to North Dakota about every two years to see them. That is simply not enough time to spend with your grandparents. I never wanted to live far from our family but sadly it seems to have been my lot in life. Hopefully we can change that soon!