Outside The Box

I saw these flowers on Simply Stated and thought they looked so pretty. I wouldn't have thought to put them in black and white vases and that made me ponder "thinking outside the box" when creating new possibilities for our homes.

Sometimes in decorating our spaces we become so emotionally invested in the comfort of things as they've always been, that we don't try anything new. That is one reason why another pair of eyes is often helpful.

One thing that I have learned as a professional home stager and redesigner is that change is difficult for all of us. That is why when our Interiors by Design team goes into a home to stage or redesign it, we need the home owner to be gone for the day. It is hard for them to envision the change while it is in process. Clients are strongly influenced by the emotional aspects of the changes and the preconceived notions they have carried with them for so long. It is best to go with the "big reveal" when the project is complete.

How are you when it comes to changing things? Are you open to the suggestions of others? Have you been pleasantly surprised trying different options? Poke a hole in that box you are in and peek outside. It is fun and besides, what's the worst thing that could happen? It is better to look for the possible benefits. Without trying...how will you ever know?

Flickr

Try These Things To Help Get The Process Going

• Look at your room with a critical eye. What works and what doesn't?
• Get rid of the space fillers you don't love.
• Get some furniture slides and start trying different furniture arrangements.
• Make a wish list of things you'd like to add to the room as your budget allows. Rome wasn't built in a day!
  
• Allow yourself a few days to get use to the new arrangement. Adapting to change takes time.
  
• Enjoy! Make your home a place you and your family love to be.
• If you need assistance call a qualified professional for help.
  

Amazing Grace

One of the things that has been enlightening to me is that it is not until we experience things sometimes that we really do "get it." Lately I have been reading two blogs that really have touched my heart. I know that many of you read Bring The Rain along with me. I have recently stumbling upon My Charming Kids as well.

Both of these blogs are written by amazing Christian women who have experienced and are continuing to endure tremendous trials in their lives because of the love they have for their children. Bring the Rain is about a little baby that died four months ago. My Charming Kids is about a mom that is expecting a baby that may not live due to a serious heart defect.

One of the things I love about these blogs is the tremendous faith these beautiful women have, the overwhelming support people from all over the world are giving them, and how they are blessing others though their desire to share and write about their sorrows.


Why I call this post Amazing Grace is because I have learned so much about my own feelings and putting words to them about our experiences with Baby Halo. Every tear I shed for these ladies and their families is because I know I "get it " having been there, in fact, still being there with them. Their stories are different from ours but the sadness and sorrow are so familiar. The intensity of the NICU and the trauma of babies born with serious problems is a life changing experience that opens your eyes to a whole new realm of life unseen before. This type of love opens your heart to love you have never experienced before..not just for the child, but for your entire family, for God, and for everyone in general. It rubs you raw in ways and places you didn't know you had. It is truly a refiners fire with losses so severe and blessings of equal magnitude. It is like going from the grainy quality of a black and white TV to HDTV, or putting on a pair of glasses when you are visually impaired. Things just become more clear and crisp and sharp in more ways than one. This is the type of experience that allows you to really see your daughter and her husband in ways that leave you awe stricken and knowing they were chosen for this sacred role in mortality. You can literally see the ministering angels' support they receive daily to press forward. You always thought they were extremely special but now it is affirmed for you in countless new ways. That is an amazing grace in parenthood and eases the pain you feel for their trials as you stand by helplessly watching.

Lowell & Jen

When I read the above mentioned blogs we know we are not alone. It is easy to just go along in our lives not noticing others in a real way. I am grateful for the experiences that have helped me be less like that than I use to be. My biggest sorrows for little Hazel are the tests that she has ahead of her and how I wish she could have a perfect little body to support her life here on earth. My biggest joy in having this beautiful little granddaughter is in seeing her purity, her precious willingness to endure these things just to be alive, and the way she brings out the very best in her parents and her sisters~in all of us. You cannot be in the same room with her and not feel of her gigantically noble spirit and her proximity to God. In addition to those joys, the knowledge that she will one day be made whole according to God's promises.

The stretch is good for us and there has never been a baby more loved in all the world than this precious little angel. But there have been many, many, many that have been loved as much. And that is the amazing grace of these kind of experiences. Eyes that can see more, hearts that have a never ending capacity to love more. It is the amazing grace of feeling deeply for perfect strangers, praying for them, and knowing all too well that you understand another of the trials of life in a different way than you use to. It is knowing we are all connected~truly brothers and sisters in our journey through this veil of tears called mortality. And above all it is about gratitude for a Father in Heaven that loves us in ways we cannot even comprehend yet. And, lastly it humbles us to be constantly reminded...not my will but Thine be done. No one chooses these doors, but once inside, you look around and know you can do it with God's help and if your troubled heart can be still...you will know He is God.

GPS For Life

Why is it so hard to start a new habit and keep at it?
I think I need a GPS for life.

Something that just attaches to my shoulder would be nice. And it would talk me through my day with constant reminders to do this, don't do that, etc. I would like it if I could choose the voice Id most like to listen to, like a nice Scottish accent or something and then it could play soft music in between the lovely suggestions. It wouldn't nag me, or harp on my weaknesses, it would just gently and hypnotically persuade me to keep going in the right direction all the time. If I got off the course it would offer immediate course corrections to help me. Rather than having a big rectangular thing perched on my shoulder, I'd like something streamlined and pretty...Maybe something tiny and sparkley to attach to the shirt I am wearing or maybe even a Silpada creation for the earring collection. And the most important thing of all it would not come with a 50 page owner's manual written by an electronics geek. A simple on and off switch would work for me.

Conflict of Interest

This morning I really need to get busy on the house we are staging tomorrow. One thing I do is take a lot of pictures and then make a plan for each room so that by the time the team arrives at the house we know what we will be doing. I need to go down to the warehouse and pull all the inventory that we are taking, after I figure that all out on paper and I also need to meet the delivery truck with the rental furniture that is being delivered to the property this morning.

This is a lot to wrap my head around while trying to deal with our Baby Halo and her constant illness. These are the things running through my head~maybe if I write it down it will help.

1. I am as worried about Jen and Lowell as I am about Hazel. My eyes have been opened in ways I never imagined before about what is is like to have a tiny baby with problems that make you feel so helpless. This is probably one of the biggest challenges a person could face in their life. It has helped us be so grateful for the health of all the other kids and to not take that for granted ever. We pray for their health and safety every single day. It has increased our love for all of them and everyone else and it has shown us a love for a little baby we never dreamed we would experience. This love nearly stretches your heart to its limits. I wonder how many pounds of credit Weight Watchers would give you for a large and heavy heart filled with love? It could be measured as your goal weight handicap or something?

These are for you, Jen-Jen!

2. I think we all have reconciled ourselves to the fact that Hazel has a serious disability that will require much from her and us in the years to come. I think we all know she can do it and she can have a great life in a wheelchair. What is really hard for me is that she is sick also. She needs to have her strength and to feel good so she can function and progress in her development. And because we all love her so much we just want her to be feeling well. It is the same frustration I felt when my mom had brain surgery, needed rehab and couldn't do anything productive because she broke 13 bones from falling the first 6 months. You just want it fixed and you can't really do much but develop more compassion.

3. I have learned in these situations that prayer is the only thing that really helps. It helps the person you are praying for and it helps you as you pray. One thing that bugs me is that we always hear people say..."All you can do is pray." To me that implies it really isn't much, but give it a go. To me it is very much a big thing and should be our first, not last resort. So that is what I really want to do today. Just stay home and ponder and pray. But today I am in for a stretching. Because I have a lot of people depending on me~I have to go and do my work and try to be creative. I need to pray for a new mindset before I can even get dressed.

4. I really want to be in Utah but I have to be here right now. I really want to just lay on Jen's big bed with her in my arms telling her things will be OK. I want to just hold little Hazel and kiss it all better. I want to help them with the daily burdens of everyday life so they can have more time to ponder and pray and find some renewal. We plan to be going on July 2 but right now that doesn't feel soon enough.

5. This burden cannot be dealt with alone. We need the Lord, your prayers and a lot of faith. We know He is there for us and we trust in His will for our family. And as the old saying goes...if it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger. So trudge ahead we must and we will. Thank you for letting me dump this out on the pages of the blog so I can see it more clearly. I am feeling better already just knowing that it is not my job to fix this, it is instead my job to ask God for help and let Him do His job~having complete faith that He will, in His own way and with His own time table. So once again the blessing that Hazel received the other night proves to be the way we have been shown to deal with this...in faith with plenty of patience and hope for a positive outcome. We know He loves her even more than we do which seems nearly impossible but I know it is true. Upward and onward then!

These are for you, Baby Halo!

Valuing What You Do

I have randomly selected the photos in this post from a condo that was staged last summer by Laura and me. I am using them to help myself solve a dilemma about the value of our work.

Finding the Value

Before & After

Today I am struggling with bidding a project correctly. I have a new Realtor that has given me 3 houses in the past week. I have never worked for her before but she has seen and liked my work in several houses over the past couple of years.

Each house that she has given me is very different except for the fact that they all belong to her good friends. I am finding this more and more as the market has gotten so soft..agents are recruiting their friends more than they use to as clients. This seems to add an edgy component as they are not only trying to make money but are trying to keep their friendships in tact as well. They want to help their friends, impress their friends, make their friends feel like they are getting a great price for the staging...the list goes on. They also want to get the best selling price, work with other professionals to insure that, etc. This is good but it is almost a conflict of interest when a third party, namely me, is introduced into the equation.

Before & After

So all that being said~ two of the three homeowners are already consulted with and the bids have been accepted and the dates set for the staging. The last house is the one that is making me crazy.

The house is in a very posh neighborhood in Lafayette. The house has been professionally decorated and is very well-appointed for living in but it definitely needs some enhancements for selling. This house will be the second of the two houses if I get the job and so I will be considering all three houses as I plan the projects making sure that I have all I need for each one, etc.

Before & After

The house is over 3100 square feet, has great art, furniture, etc. but is lacking in greenery, florals, linens, and accessories. What that means according to my experience is that it will swallow up a lot more stuff than you would initially think. It will take longer than you anticipate, etc, etc. The problem with these types of houses is that the owner thinks it looks pretty fine and just needs some decluttering, you have to make sure that all your accessories are going to give at least the appearance of being high end, and you usually err on the side of reducing your profit and underestimating the value of the service you provide.

Before & After

Even with years of experience this tends to be an ongoing problem with small business owners and I think it is particularly true of women. We are so use to doing so much for other people for free and putting ourselves last on the list to make everyone else happy. This is OK in some aspects of life but not in business. I have several friends that have their own businesses and it is a recurring theme for all of us.

Before & After

Sometimes it is more important to take a leap of faith and just go with your desire to be fair to everyone, including yourself (which is the hardest) and go with your gut feeling as to the best price. Other times it is better to sacrifice a little to further promote your business to a new client. Sometimes it is better to realize that even though you may not get the job, you have to value what you do and charge accordingly. You have to know within your heart and mind that your quote was a fair one for all concerned. And then sometimes you just have to realize that how you view what you do is more important than the actual $ you put in your pocket for any given project.

As an example, let's say your honestly calculate all the things that have to be considered, your time, talent, overhead costs, etc, and you come up with a certain number. The client may or may not say yes to your bid. If they do, great. If they don't you have to feel justified in knowing you did what what right and they said no because they don't understand the value of what they would be getting. What you don't want to do for sure is underestimate and take a loss just because you weren't sure of the value of what you do. Having the confidence to value what you do is more important than money. Finding the balance is the tricky part.

*********************

Addendum to this post ~ As it turned out I wrote this family a two page letter regarding the staging and they have decided to declutter themselves. I need to learn to follow that feeling I get and recognize it as the Holy Ghost saying~this is not a good fit. The minute I got word they were not staging I got that total peace that comes over you when things have been righted. I am so thankful I stuck to my guns and what transpired was right. I know that what I do is of value but not everyone will recognize it. That is fine. It turned out just great and this time I didn't get taken advantage of for trying to be a nice guy! This is a big step forward!

Reflections on 40 Years of Marriage

June 15, 1968

40 years is a very long time. I think I have learned somethings along the way that I would like to record. Marriage is a process of becoming one with the person you love. It takes a long time and it is a lot of work. I wouldn't trade the experience for the world and everything in it.

It is not work to love the other person~it is work to change and mold yourself into a better partner. I think we all spend far too much time trying to change our partner to be more like us. This totally defeats the purpose of two~ as then one of you would be unnecessary. The changes that come in molding two lives together can only be wrought by changing yourself. As long as you try to change your spouse you are not progressing, you are not even standing still, you are digressing. However, ironically, when you change, it changes your partner's behavior too.

Some things will never change except for your attitude towards them. That is OK, you are two different people. Acceptance of the things that probably won't change will release a lot of tension and makes things better all the way around. This is a lesson best learned early on.

What I have just recently begun to really get is that the differences are very enhancing to a relationship if you are one in purpose. Not unlike our understanding of our Heavenly Father and Jesus~separate beings with a common purpose. When I look at our children I see so much of their Dad's influence in the fantastic people they are. Two people coming together with various assets, characteristics and abilities is nothing but a positive thing for the children in a marriage. Even if some of the things are negative, the children still learn how they want to be different than mom or dad when they grow up. It seems to be the point that each generation should improve upon the preceding one.

It helps if you have a lot in common but if you don't~branch out and learn to like some things that may not appeal to you personally ~for your spouse's sake, but more importantly for the relationship's sake. It is not independence or dependence that you should be seeking but interdependence. Each person should be strong in their own right, doing their part and fulfilling their stewardships to create the best whole.

We all need to be forgiving and live without regrets. By trying to do the things we should and refraining from the things that we should not do, IF we have a common foundation (like the Gospel) we cannot help but move closer to each other. And I think we need to give each other time to learn and grow, realizing that this process of becoming one takes a long long time to perfect. So unity, kindness, patience, love and forgiveness rate high on the list.

Courtesy and kindness will do more to enhance a marriage than just about anything else. We are all always battling within to tame our own selfishness, and nothing quite refines that in a person like a marriage. You simply have to think outside yourself to succeed in one.

I think the little things in marriage are extremely important to its longevity. Being greeted with a hug and a kiss when you come home or leave, holding hands in a movie, doing little favors for each other, calling to say hi in the middle of the day, a smile, a touch..you know the kind of things I mean. Those little things help cement in your heart a desire to do well in the big things..trust, loyalty fidelity, service, etc.

One thing I know for sure. All the struggle is worth the effort. I wouldn't change much about the past 40 years. A few things, yes...but for the most part it has been very good. I love Jim with all my heart just the way he is. He is a great husband and father and professional and servant to all. Even though we are very different...he is perfect for me. We are also so alike in many ways and we notice this more and more as we get older. We are kind of like scrambled eggs at this point...after all the mixing it is hard to separate where I end and he begins and vice versa.

Do we drive each other crazy sometimes...of course....do we fight...rarely. Do we try hard to be good to each other...definitely, a resounding yes. This is a great time in our lives when we are really enjoying our family and the courses we have set for our life together. We are looking forward to our retirement, our mission and being with our kids and grandkids. Life is good. God has richly blessed us. As one person put it~the days are long but the years are short. So true~where have these 40 years gone, anyway?

Presidential Political Poppycock

I almost ran this yesterday but thought it would be passe with Hilary's eminent concession. This woman, like a bad case of nail fungus~just refuses to go away no matter what you do.

"John McCain, Hillary Clinton and Barack were walking down a Washington, D.C. street when they came upon a homeless man.

John McCain gave the man his business card and told him to come to his office for a job. He then took $20 out of his pocket and give it to the man.

Hillary Clinton was very impressed, so when they came upon another homeless person she decided to help. She walked over to him and gave him directions to the welfare office. She then reached into John McCain's pocket and got out $20. She kept $15 for her administrative fees and gave the homeless man $5.

When they came upon yet another homeless person, Barack told him to "have hope . . . change is coming . . ." and gave him nothing."

You will rarely see me publish anything too political on my blog, but in this election year I am going to do a few. This is my opinion on the whole politics arena. No one person can politically "fix" the mess we are in right now as a society. The problems are too systemic and too complex. To make empty promises for resolution and to come up with moronic, shoot-from-the-hip, instant solutions, is ludicrous.

The problems we face daily can only be remedied over time by each person doing their part. The basic unit of society, the family, is the place where real change will take place. In the heart of each person is the potential for fixing the ills of the culture. The family is where we form our values and practice responsible living, love for our fellow man, basic civility, integrity, and the like. A good family teaches us how to be decent humans. These things cannot be legislated and they certainly take longer than a four or eight year term in office affords.

I want lower gas prices, an end to the war in Iraq, more economical stability, and good health care for everyone too...wanting it and getting it are not the same thing and no political platform has a magic wand powerful enough to insure it.

The game of politics is just annoying to me and I am really tired of people that are arch enemies for several months and then overnight decide they want to "unify the party" and run on the same ticket! What they really believe and want (aside from power) will always remain a mystery in the thing we call "politics." And how they think they can make it happen is an even bigger mystery.

I am tired of voting for the "best" of two evils. I am also tired of the system that uses the electoral college so my entire state swings in one direction or another. Does anyone actually know any of these delegates that have the final nod for our state? I know this borders on blasphemous but does my vote really count? I know the idea of my vote is important but are we locked into a voting system that discounts my individual vote in reality? And why do I have to know who wins the elections hours before they actually close the polls on the west coast? How many people don't even bother at that point? Arrgh!

No matter who we vote for, we will end up questioning our own sanity and feeling guilty for having contributed to the current mess, by the time the next Presidential Election year rolls around~ anyway.


Maybe I am just being totally naive, but I think I want more. How about you? I don't expect overnight miracles but maybe by the time our grandkids are of voting age the current system will evolve into something better for the country and better for everyone in it. I don't pretend to have all the answers, it is not my area of expertise, but I do know something is rotten ~and it isn't in Denmark.

Where is the integrity and dignity in what is going on politically? We get so wrapped up in what they say before the election~ but what they do after the election speaks for itself. We keep getting sucked in by the way it ought to be.

Taming The Green-Eyed Monster

I read this post the other day and really thought it was worth sharing. I really like this Real Simple blog site, they have all kinds of interesting stuff everyday. In keeping with Jen's post from yesterday I will occasionally be blog-jacking something I either want to keep and/or share. Giving credit where credit is due, you will always find the source and quotation marks around the message.

Taming the Green-Eyed Monster

from Simply Stated By RealSimple.com by Corynne Corbett

"Both of my parents worked so after school my sisters and I went to the babysitter's house across the street until they got home. She had a huge house, and it was full of children (her own as well as others). The great thing was there was always someone to play with but the challenge was with so many people around you had to jockey for attention.

One of her nephews only visited occasionally yet he made an impression on me because he never wanted the focus to be off of him (kind of difficult with 12 children running around). No matter what anyone said, his reply was always the same: "How about me?" Although I don't remember his name, I remember this annoying refrain because he was an only child who had a meltdown when it wasn't about him. Nowadays, we'd all like to think we've outgrown these childish habits. We don't have regularly scheduled meltdown moments unless we are members of that special breed of society called Drama Queens. But I digress...Yet instead of abandoning our feelings of envy we've learned to mask them. We've found more subtle ways to unleash the green-eyed monster.

One of my favorite signs of envy is the back-handed compliment. This is the worst kind of give and take because we are actually saying something nice and then peppering it with criticism. If we're caught doing this we often try to make everyone think that we are actually really happy about whatever the circumstance (even though we aren't). I realize that many of us have an initial response not so different from that little boy. We think to ourselves, "why didn't such and such happen to me?" Of course, we don't want to admit that this is our first thought. But it does happen to all of us. I think it's okay if the thought passes through your mind but doesn't take up residence. When those feelings hang around too long, that's when the problems begin.

So what's the best way to tame the green-eyed monster? First, you have to remember that life's peaks and valleys are different for everyone. When a friend is up we may be in the valley (or vice versa) so we need to celebrate those highs with them so they'll be there with us. Next, we have to see envy for what it is instead of acting like those feelings aren't there. I hate to mix metaphors but it really is the 800lb. pink elephant in the room. If you can see it, you're less likely to be trampled by its effects. Instead, teach yourself some new tricks and ride those feelings right out of your life. "

I really like this because haven't we all had people in our lives that are experts at the back-handed compliments. You go..."thanks", and then realize..."hey, wait a minute"? People can often get away with a lot in the form of a back-handed compliment, a "just kidding" remark, or just by being envious and selfish about everything. This is such a big part of the pride of this generation that President Benson talked about during his life time. It is also the 'scarcity mentality' that Stephen Covey talks about. I want to be aware of it and never catch myself engaging in it. It is so destructive and counterproductive to relationships.

Confessions, Consumption & Counterfeits

I have been having a week long epiphany. This is probably one of those entries that should go in my journal to burn...but I have decided to put it here. I have to start out with a confession or two.

Confessions

This will surprise some of you but before I was LDS I use to smoke. Both Jim and I fell into smoking almost as a natural matter of course as we grew up. 3 of our 4 parents smoked, Jim's grandmother did, and lots of the adults we loved and admired were smokers. There wasn't much of a stigma attached to it then and very little about it being a health hazard. Although really, how could anyone deny that it had to be bad for you? No, Dah! I think there was a smoking epidemic that got part of its surge to prominence from the war years when smoking was so popular. Anyway, we were not privy to Joseph Smith's views nor did we know of the Word of Wisdom at that time in our lives.

Many times during the time that we did smoke we tried to quit. It was seemingly impossible so we would try to cut back. We would just smoke a few cigarettes per day and that backfired because~the cigarette became the reward. You were just counting the minutes until you could light up. How dumb is that when you think about it? Using your poison as your reward?? It modified your behavior all right in exactly the wrong direction.

Long story short, we did quit on the same day and never smoked again. Why did it work when we went cold turkey? Because we sacrificed something we wanted for something we wanted more. We changed our behaviors by eliminating smoking altogether. We just said NO! We didn't get candy cigarettes, we didn't switch to a pipe or chew tobacco~we just quit. It was not easy but it was worth it. Divine intervention was most assuredly a huge component.

The epiphany that I have been having is in relationship to losing weight and being physically fit and healthy. This may be hard to believe but I am an expert at losing weight. I have lost the same 25 to 40 pounds about a hundred times. What has always baffled me is why I stop doing what I am doing after I get to a certain point in the weight lose journey. This is what led me to my thoughts on consumption.

Consumption

As Americans we all consume far too many refined, processed, sugary, salty, fat-filled products. I hesitate to even call it food. This occurs for all the reasons we are well aware of. Convenience, stress, boredom, being over committed, great tasting junk food, happiness and celebrations, sadness, depression, just about everything in life brings us to the table literally and figuratively. So this is old news and we are all aware of it. I think that most dieting fails because in reality we do not want to give this stuff up. Some of you are probably thinking~well now, there is brilliance for ya! But really think about it. When we continuously consume the empty calories it is like putting chocolate pudding in our gas tank. It might fill it up but it sure isn't going to get you to your desired destination. And this is what got me to thinking about the counterfeits and this for me was one real key into why I have always stopped in the process of losing the weight.

When we are dieting we want to somehow continue liking and eating the stuff that makes us fat while actually getting thinner. We essentially want to have our cake and eat it too. So even from the very beginning when slimfast came out...what did it taste like? A Milkshake! I see the correlation between that and having a cigarette for your reward when trying to quit smoking. The kicker is that you can actually lose some weight with that stuff and still think "Milkshake" while doing it.

Think about so many of the diet pills out there. Eat whatever you want and still lose weight. We love something for nothing, so OK then. This is something I have never done but I think I understand it. Do you think people that take diet pills are eating carrots and drinking fat free milk while on the pills? Probably not. It is like you haven't learned to love new things that are healthy, but unfortunately for you, you lose a few pounds. You get a little positive reinforcement for your negative behavior. So when you quit the pills...you keep eating the incorrect, high calorie food choices and on comes the weight again. We even try to kid ourselves into believing if we rock back on the scale and the needle bounces down a little that the weight gain isn't real. Hello! The mind games are the never ending story.

Counterfeits

So this is the thing I came to realize this week. When I would lose the weight I still wanted to eat the same things I just wanted to have a counterfeit version of it. Like the low fat, sugar free whatevers. The hundred calorie packs of the Oreo thingies or wheat thins would work. I wanted the baked chips, the fake ice cream, etc. I was trying to succeed without doing the work. Because I was losing the weight I didn't try to change my tastes, cleanse my palate and try to incorporate better, more nutritious food into my food planning. So when I would tire of the specialty foods and the stresses of life would come back...so would the weight.

I hadn't learned to change. What I have learned now is that if I want my life to change I have to change something. Brilliant, huh? Just like I couldn't keep smoking and quit at the same time. Just like I had to say NO to the cigarettes, I have to say NO to those foods that are not good for me. I had to sacrifice the pleasures (?) of smoking for what I wanted more. And now I will have to sacrifice what I like for what I want more. That thing that I want more is authentic good health. (Just like my grandson, Spencer, doesn't eat peanuts because they can kill him..I have to stop eating the things that can kill me!!!) I will not just be a counterfeit thinner person without good health..because I have learned you can actually do that. But I will be truly healthy from the inside out from better choices made day by day one by one!

I have also learned with the help of a very great bunch of friends that I am a good person no matter what the scale says. Some bad habits do not = a bad character or =a weak person. They are just an indication of a person who is still learning new habits and that is not only OK~ but actually good!

Today I was looking in my grocery cart and consciously noting all the healthy choices in the cart as I emptied it. One by one I was giving myself a bravo sticker with each thing I lifted out of it. Today I was eating those little"cutie" tangerines whenever I wanted something sweet or a little snack. They are delicious...who knew? It made me feel so good that I am re-gifting myself with the flowers that Jim gave me for Valentine's Day right here on the blog at the top of this post. They are wilting now but through the camera's eye they can live on!

I know that this weight lose issue is a complicated one. I also know that what works for me may not work for you. Some of you may be able to have those things that I do not think will be working for me for the long haul. Carry on knowing you are loved no matter what! Each day is a new beginning and I am never going to give up on myself in this department! I have to believe it is not too late. Slow learner, yes; quitter, no way!

If this is something you struggle with, I invite you to view Lanette's Healthy Life Blog listed in my favorite clicks!

Eat~Love~Pray---"il bel far niete"

This is a quote from the book that I found very interesting. To our children I will just say that; No, the names have not been changed to protect the innocent or the guilty...this actually happened in someone else's life too!

" While I came to Italy in order to experience pleasure, during the first few weeks I was here, I felt a bit of panic as to how one should do that. I come from a long line of super conscientious people....My parents have a small farm, and my sister and I grew up working. We were taught to be dependable, responsible, the top of our classes at school, the most organized and efficient babysitters in town, the very miniature models of our hardworking farmer/nurse of a mother, a pair of junior Swiss Army knives, born to multi-task. We had a lot of enjoyment in our family, a lot of laughter, but the walls were papered with to-do lists, and I never experienced idleness, not once in my entire life.

Generally speaking, though, Americans have an inability to relax into sheer pleasure. Ours is an entertainment-seeking nation, but not necessarily a pleasure-seeking one. Americans spend billions to keep themselves amused from theme parks to wars, but that is not exactly the same thing as quiet enjoyment. Americans work harder and longer and more stressful hours than anyone in the world today. But as my friend pointed out, we seem to like it.
Alarming statistics back this observation up, showing that many Americans feel more happy and fulfilled in their offices than they do in their own homes. Of course we all inevitably work too hard, then we get burned out and have to spend the whole weekend in our pajamas, eating straight out of the box and staring at the TV in a mild coma (which is the opposite of working, yes, but not exactly the same as pleasure). Americans don't really know how to do nothing. This is the cause of that great sad American stereotype--the over-stressed executive who goes on vacation, but cannot relax.

I once asked my friend if Italians on vacation had the same problem. He laughed so hard he almost drove his motorcycle into a fountain. "Oh, no!' he said. 'We are the masters of il bel far niente!' This sweet expression means 'the beauty of doing nothing." Now listen--Italians have always been hard workers, especially those long-suffering laborers known as bracciante (so called because they had nothing but brute strength in their arms to help them survive in this world) But even against that backdrop of hard work, il bel far niente has always been a cherished ideal. The beauty of doing nothing is the goal of all your work, the final accomplishment for which you are most highly congratulated. The more exquisitely and delightfully you can do nothing, the higher your life's achievement."

Does anyone find some truth in this besides me? My Italian husband will hopefully catch a glimpse of this in Italy. We all need to find balance in this and not just do, do, do all the time. Sometimes I feel like we are human doings, rather than human beings. Don't get me wrong, I adore an excellent work ethic and all, but I think a reasonable portion of relaxation in each life is essential to good physical, spiritual, mental and emotional health. I am not espousing laziness, or idleness, or being irresponsible but rather a balance in our lives. If one choses to "work" at this, so be it. This is something we all need to consider and ponder. One needs to be careful when following the old adage "first we work and then we play" as this balance we seek, may become illusive. This seems to be so since, as we know...the work never ends!

OK, I am climbing down off my soapbox for awhile!

Eat~Pray~Love--- On The Italian Culture

Elizabeth Gilbert summarizes Luigi Barzini, in his 1964 masterpiece, The Italians, that was written when he'd finally grown tired of foreigners writing about Italy and either loving it or hating it too much. He tried to set the record straight on his own culture. He tried to answer the question of why the Italians have produced the greatest artistic, political, and scientific minds of the ages, but have still never become a world power? Why are they the planet's masters of verbal diplomacy, but still so inept at home government? Why are they so individually valiant, and yet so unsuccessful as an army? How can they be such shrewd merchants on the personal level, yet such insufficient capitalists as a nation?

He said it had much to do with a sad Italian history of corruption by local leaders and exploitation by foreign dominators, all of which has generally led Italians to draw the seemingly accurate conclusion that nobody and nothing in the world can be trusted. Because the world is so corrupted, misspoken, unstable, exaggerated and unfair, one should trust only what one can experience with one's own senses and this makes the senses very strong, in fact they are stronger in Italy, than in all of Europe. This is why, Brazini says, Italians will tolerate hideously incompetent generals, presidents, tyrants, professors, bureaucrats, journalist and captains of industry, but will never tolerate incompetent 'opera singers, conductors, ballerinas, courtesans, actors, film directors, cooks, tailors...' In a world of disorder and disaster and fraud, sometimes only beauty can be trusted. Only artistic excellence is incorruptible. Pleasures cannot be bargained down. And sometimes the meal is the only currency that is real. (This is a thought worth some reflection.)

The Pieta~Michelangleo

To devote yourself to the creation and enjoyment of beauty, then, can be a serious business---not always necessarily a means of escaping reality, but sometimes a means of holding on to the real when everything else is flaking away."

I really found this so interesting and it struck a cord with me that I don't fully understand but I want to ponder. I find some truth in it in relationship to my profession as a decorator, how my senses can be trusted to find the beauty in the chaos. It is all rather worth some serious thought and reflection for me.

Luciano Pavarotti