Confessions, Consumption & Counterfeits

I have been having a week long epiphany. This is probably one of those entries that should go in my journal to burn...but I have decided to put it here. I have to start out with a confession or two.

Confessions

This will surprise some of you but before I was LDS I use to smoke. Both Jim and I fell into smoking almost as a natural matter of course as we grew up. 3 of our 4 parents smoked, Jim's grandmother did, and lots of the adults we loved and admired were smokers. There wasn't much of a stigma attached to it then and very little about it being a health hazard. Although really, how could anyone deny that it had to be bad for you? No, Dah! I think there was a smoking epidemic that got part of its surge to prominence from the war years when smoking was so popular. Anyway, we were not privy to Joseph Smith's views nor did we know of the Word of Wisdom at that time in our lives.

Many times during the time that we did smoke we tried to quit. It was seemingly impossible so we would try to cut back. We would just smoke a few cigarettes per day and that backfired because~the cigarette became the reward. You were just counting the minutes until you could light up. How dumb is that when you think about it? Using your poison as your reward?? It modified your behavior all right in exactly the wrong direction.

Long story short, we did quit on the same day and never smoked again. Why did it work when we went cold turkey? Because we sacrificed something we wanted for something we wanted more. We changed our behaviors by eliminating smoking altogether. We just said NO! We didn't get candy cigarettes, we didn't switch to a pipe or chew tobacco~we just quit. It was not easy but it was worth it. Divine intervention was most assuredly a huge component.

The epiphany that I have been having is in relationship to losing weight and being physically fit and healthy. This may be hard to believe but I am an expert at losing weight. I have lost the same 25 to 40 pounds about a hundred times. What has always baffled me is why I stop doing what I am doing after I get to a certain point in the weight lose journey. This is what led me to my thoughts on consumption.

Consumption

As Americans we all consume far too many refined, processed, sugary, salty, fat-filled products. I hesitate to even call it food. This occurs for all the reasons we are well aware of. Convenience, stress, boredom, being over committed, great tasting junk food, happiness and celebrations, sadness, depression, just about everything in life brings us to the table literally and figuratively. So this is old news and we are all aware of it. I think that most dieting fails because in reality we do not want to give this stuff up. Some of you are probably thinking~well now, there is brilliance for ya! But really think about it. When we continuously consume the empty calories it is like putting chocolate pudding in our gas tank. It might fill it up but it sure isn't going to get you to your desired destination. And this is what got me to thinking about the counterfeits and this for me was one real key into why I have always stopped in the process of losing the weight.

When we are dieting we want to somehow continue liking and eating the stuff that makes us fat while actually getting thinner. We essentially want to have our cake and eat it too. So even from the very beginning when slimfast came out...what did it taste like? A Milkshake! I see the correlation between that and having a cigarette for your reward when trying to quit smoking. The kicker is that you can actually lose some weight with that stuff and still think "Milkshake" while doing it.

Think about so many of the diet pills out there. Eat whatever you want and still lose weight. We love something for nothing, so OK then. This is something I have never done but I think I understand it. Do you think people that take diet pills are eating carrots and drinking fat free milk while on the pills? Probably not. It is like you haven't learned to love new things that are healthy, but unfortunately for you, you lose a few pounds. You get a little positive reinforcement for your negative behavior. So when you quit the pills...you keep eating the incorrect, high calorie food choices and on comes the weight again. We even try to kid ourselves into believing if we rock back on the scale and the needle bounces down a little that the weight gain isn't real. Hello! The mind games are the never ending story.

Counterfeits

So this is the thing I came to realize this week. When I would lose the weight I still wanted to eat the same things I just wanted to have a counterfeit version of it. Like the low fat, sugar free whatevers. The hundred calorie packs of the Oreo thingies or wheat thins would work. I wanted the baked chips, the fake ice cream, etc. I was trying to succeed without doing the work. Because I was losing the weight I didn't try to change my tastes, cleanse my palate and try to incorporate better, more nutritious food into my food planning. So when I would tire of the specialty foods and the stresses of life would come back...so would the weight.

I hadn't learned to change. What I have learned now is that if I want my life to change I have to change something. Brilliant, huh? Just like I couldn't keep smoking and quit at the same time. Just like I had to say NO to the cigarettes, I have to say NO to those foods that are not good for me. I had to sacrifice the pleasures (?) of smoking for what I wanted more. And now I will have to sacrifice what I like for what I want more. That thing that I want more is authentic good health. (Just like my grandson, Spencer, doesn't eat peanuts because they can kill him..I have to stop eating the things that can kill me!!!) I will not just be a counterfeit thinner person without good health..because I have learned you can actually do that. But I will be truly healthy from the inside out from better choices made day by day one by one!

I have also learned with the help of a very great bunch of friends that I am a good person no matter what the scale says. Some bad habits do not = a bad character or =a weak person. They are just an indication of a person who is still learning new habits and that is not only OK~ but actually good!

Today I was looking in my grocery cart and consciously noting all the healthy choices in the cart as I emptied it. One by one I was giving myself a bravo sticker with each thing I lifted out of it. Today I was eating those little"cutie" tangerines whenever I wanted something sweet or a little snack. They are delicious...who knew? It made me feel so good that I am re-gifting myself with the flowers that Jim gave me for Valentine's Day right here on the blog at the top of this post. They are wilting now but through the camera's eye they can live on!

I know that this weight lose issue is a complicated one. I also know that what works for me may not work for you. Some of you may be able to have those things that I do not think will be working for me for the long haul. Carry on knowing you are loved no matter what! Each day is a new beginning and I am never going to give up on myself in this department! I have to believe it is not too late. Slow learner, yes; quitter, no way!

If this is something you struggle with, I invite you to view Lanette's Healthy Life Blog listed in my favorite clicks!