Monday, December 5, 2011

How Come?

When I could be out shopping and looking at such beautiful things for Christmas which I totally love to do...like

Checking out Miso Lino in Walnut Creek!

And taking in the sites and thinking about
what
to get you for Christmas if $ were no object...

Then ogling all the house bling...
Oooo, I do love this!

Or checking out the Byers Carolers~
There are practically a whole
city of them you know!


Or eying this small wrath that would look great in
our house and also empty our bank account!

But instead...

All I want to do is sink into this red leather
chair in Jim's office and stare into space.

Or

1. Write in my blogs or get emails from friends

2. Hang out at home in my jammies

3. Look at other people's Christmas
decorations on Pinterest.
Repin and stick a few of my own.

4. Cannot seem to have the energy
to read blogs right now.

5. Cannot arouse even a tiny interest
in Facebook.

6 Want to watch movies about
Christmas but not like usual.

7. Listen to Christmas music but
not all the things
I normally listen
to at Christmas..

Just Josh Groban's Angelic voice
singing the classics and classical.

8. Sleep and rest and have some hugs.


After giving this some thought I think it might have something to do with this...





I am not worried I have faith that the Lord will protect him. But I just totally miss him and I miss him for us, for Laura, for his boys and for his parents and siblings. And the very worst of all...him missing his family and being so far away from those that truly matter most to him.

I need a quadruple by-pass on this one but, it is too late for intervention. The sadness is already lodged right there in the middle of my heart. Not even Christmas can budge it completely...but I am working on it. One of the perils of being a Mom, I guess. I have known double and triple jeopardy before but this is a quad. Holy Cow...too much and it really has kind of blind-sided me! Even the two year missions do not prepare you for this.

But do not worry about me, I bounce back fast. Mornings are a new day and I plan to take a deep breath, carry on and keep going. I just need a little carrying on the beach right now. And maybe some extra prayers for them right now too. Sigh.


6 comments:

Nellie's Cozy place said...

Hi Bonnie,
I am not surprised...........it is hard to not feel what you know Laura is feeling........a Mother's heart is still attached to her children like an umbilical cord. Sorry you are having such a down time, I will surely pray for you. I have been feeling down too, but have no Idea what the problem is......we have heard some bad news about several families in our church, so think it might be hitting me worse than I realize.
Did however, finally get some stuff done this afternoon, but I took almost a 3 hr. nap, but did feel lots better when I got up. Our
emotions can really surprise us sometimes. Plus think I am having allergies as well, so that always wears me out, and when I feel so tired, I don't feel great emotionally either.

Will lift you up sweetie, as I know this has to be hard for all of you.
I don't know how people that are married and in the military do these long separations without it killing them. One day at a time I guess, I remember my Jim having to be gone to Germany for a month years back and that was incredibly hard for me, as we had never been apart for over a week before. So I can only imagine............

Praying for Laura, Robert and the family but guess I better get busy
praying for the rest of you too.

Love you sweet friend, glad you shared this so we can be helpers to you...............
Blessings, Nellie

Marie said...

Carrying Robert in prayer Bonnie, and YOU too! We all need some extra help from time to time. It's ok to admit it. Love you. xxoo

Sister Susie said...

I'm praying our GOD's Angels to be around Robert, protecting him; I pray for them to surround Laura and your family. I'm praying the Holy Spirit will give you His reassurance of Robert's safe return.
Love to you and yours,
Susan

Caroline Craven said...

The picture of Robert hugging his boys goodbye put a lump in my throat and a few tears in my eyes. I'm so glad you and Jim get to go and be with Laura and her boys for Christmas. I think that will go a long way to ease the pain for you guys, Laura and her boys and Robert. Our thoughts and prayers are with all of you, and no doubt when you focus on the true meaning of Christmas (as I know you do), that too will help alleviate some of the pain. You are all strong people and you'll get through this, but still, it doesn't hurt to have the support of friends and family and the Lord's blessing upon each of you. Much love to you all.

Caroline Craven said...

Me again with a quick p.s. We must be having a slow news day in Utah as Walnut Creek made our news this morning. Apparently there was a purse thief in Nordstrom's. He was detained by some courageous customers, who were pepper-sprayed by the thief, but they held on to him until police got there. Bizarre story and weird that it was on our news - funny!

Deila said...

I feel your pain, or discomfort, or angst and yet faith as well. The older I get the more I realize that life is just one big testing ground, and we get blind-sided and it's most miserable. I missed the story of how long he will be gone and what he is doing--is that somewhere?