Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Grandma's Hands


"Grandma, some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench. She didn't move, just sat with her head down staring at her hands. When I sat beside her she didn't acknowledge my presence and the longer I sat I wondered if she was OK. Finally not wanting to disturb her but wanting to check on her at the same time, I asked her if she was OK. She raised her head and looked at me and smiled, 'Yes I am fine, thank you for asking,' she said in a clear strong voice. 'I didn't mean to disturb you, Grandma but you were just sitting here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK. '

'Have you ever looked at our hands, I mean REALLY looked at them?' she asked. I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them. I turned them over, palms up and then palms down. 'No, I guess I had never really looked at them,' I said, as I tried to figure out the point she was making. Grandma smiled and related this story:

'Stop and think a moment about the hands you have, how they have served you well throughout your life. These hands, though wrinkled, shriveled and weak have been the tools that I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life.

They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler I crashed upon the floor. They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. As a child my mother taught me to fold them in prayer. They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots. They held my husband and wiped away my tears when he went off to war. They have been dirty, scraped, and raw, swollen and bent. They were uneasy and clumsy when I held my new born son. Decorated with my wedding ring they showed the world that I was married and loved by someone special. They wrote my letters to him and trembled and shook when I buried my parents and my spouse. They held my children and grandchildren, consoled neighbors, and shook in fists when I did not understand. They have covered my face, combed my hair, washed and cleansed the rest of my body. They have been sticky and wet, broken, dried and raw. And to this day when not much of anything else works really well, these hands hold me up, lay me down, and still continue to fold in prayer.

These hands are the mark of where I have been and the ruggedness of life. But more importantly these will be the hands that God will reach out and take when He leads me home. And with His hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hand to touch the face of Christ.'

I have never looked at my hands again in the same way. But I remember God reached out and took my Grandma's hands and led her home. When my hands are hurt or sore or when I stroke the face of my husband and children, I think about Grandma. I know she has been stroked and caressed and held by the hands of God.

Someday, I too want to touch the face of God and feel His hands upon my face."

Grampa and Gramma Yeasley

I really loved this when I read it and it reminded me so much of my own grandmother Alice Grace Godfrey Colberg Yeasley. How's that for a name? She was the only blood line grandparent I ever knew. My Grampa here is Jacob Yeasley whom she married when my dad was an adult. They were both so wonderful and I have such fond memories of them and loved them both so much. We would go to North Dakota about every two years to see them. That is simply not enough time to spend with your grandparents. I never wanted to live far from our family but sadly it seems to have been my lot in life. Hopefully we can change that someday!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The Empty Nest

Some of you may know that I use to write articles for an online magazine back in 2008 called Blissfully Domestic. They asked me to do a post on The Empty Nest once and this is a copy of it. I thought it would be fun to re-post it as a few of my friends, (Connie and Nellie) are about to have all their kids married. Anyway, for what's it worth, here is what we tried to do. I guess the true test of our success would be to check in with our kids and see how we are doing...

I don't write for the e-zine anymore because they were new and went through so many formatting and platform changes that it took forever to get it into their system and to comply to all the specifications of publishing, i.e. resizing photos, so many words per article, etc. I prefer to just do my own crazy thing on my own blogs.




Here is my first published article on the Blissful Family Channel of Blissfully Domestic. If you click on the large title link (this seems to work on our PC but not always on our Mac) you can see how it looks in the online magazine!

September 18th, 2008 by Bonnie

Few people experience the empty nest in quite the same way my husband and I did. Our children are all three years apart in age. In 1997 we had three big weddings in four months; something no parent expects! Not only that but within that year I turned fifty, and had a hysterectomy, so you can imagine the state of my hormones and emotions at that time. I was so unprepared for the immediate empty nest. It was a time of many mixed emotions and I never thought the day would actually come. It was a wonderful time in so many ways and we were so fortunate to get three wonderful new adult children. I just wish we had thought ahead more to that moment in time that most assuredly would and did come.

It didn’t take long to realize how much our roles as their parents changed when they got married. These are some things we did right away to ease into the transition.

We created a mission statement as a couple to clarify our goals and expectations of our new roles:

  • We wanted to maintain the closeness we had and to include their spouses as equals in a real way in the family. We made every effort to make them feel loved and special to us. We got rid of the “in-law” designation.
  • We decided that our role would be one of love and support. We realized how difficult the first years of marriage are and didn’t want to be a part of the problem of their adjustment.
  • We made an effort to know the families of our new adult children and to support their relationships with their own families. We had a desire to be one big family rather than having a his and hers designation, that made them feel like they were being pulled in two directions. This helped so much when the grandchildren started to come along.
  • We made a conscious decision to give advice only when asked. We became good at biting our tongues! We were no longer the directors of their lives but consultants on call.
  • We encouraged good relationships between our married children so they would all want their children to know and love their cousins, aunts and uncles.
  • We have made a concerted effort to be the glue in the family.

A happy Grandpa with 8 of the 10!

These things do not just happen without planning and effort. These few goals have made a big difference in how the last 11 years have gone. It helped lay a foundation for the best thing in life yet…being Grandma and Grandpa to 10 beautiful little kids!

Bonnie will be posting about grandparenting and the parenting of adult children in future posts. She loves blogging and uses it as a tool to keep her family united. She also writes about interior decorating on the Home and Garden Channel. Coming soon~ her redesigned blog.

Monday, March 21, 2011

A Simple Woman's Daybook~March 21, 2011

To join in focusing on the simple things and pleasures of your daily life or to read other people's entries, you can click here.

So, For Today...

Monday, March 21, 2011

Outside my window...it is the first day of spring, Yay! It is not a very springy day here but it is struggling to be. There is a bright sun right now but clouds in the wings just waiting to take center stage and change things and rewrite the script. The wind is egging them on....it will rain.

I am thankful for...something very exciting to look forward to in June. On our 43 anniversary we will be with every single one of our kids and grandkids, in a beautiful ginormous home in the Sundance Resort area. We have not all been together since Christmas 2006 and some of the grandies have never met Aunt Laura and Uncle Robert and they and their kids have not met Owen and Hazie and vice versa. We have invited Jim's mom to fly in and join us for the three day reunion so it truly will be a complete reunion of our immediate family. We are having a family picture done for sure. This is a dream long in the plans, finally coming to fruition.

From the learning room...I can do whatever I set my mind to doing with the Lord's good and abundant help!

I am reading...Not Sweet By and By. But I am glad I have it on my Kindle and may come back to it another time. I am reading a research book though on Mindless Eating and it is very interesting. It is not a diet book at all, but is about all these studies of how the environment cues us to eat and eating habits cued by rituals and traditions, etc. It is quite enlightening with some hard numbers on things they have experimented with in study groups.

From the kitchen...Needing to go and buy some food today but will be eating out with friends tonight, Wednesday night and Sunday night so will not need much this week.

I am wondering...if it is weird to think I can write a book if I can just come up with a subject, or a story, or something that anyone would be interested in reading?? Should it be a memoir, a research on something I am passionate about, fiction, a Church book...who knows??

I am hearing...Ain't Misbehavin'~Louis Armstrong. Love me some Old Satchmo.

Today if I could change one thing...Thin genes would be for sale on the Internet.

I am quoting..."Aron Leal, age 4. "How did that big Salami hit Japan, Daddy?"

I am thinking about..
.Summer in Utah and after the reunion bringing Laura and Robert and the boys home to our house so they can fly home from CA at the end of the month. Heaven on earth just all of us being together...cannot wait.


I am going..to run some errands in a little while and get organized for a tablescape I am doing for the Relief Society Birthday dinner party on Wednesday night. We are doing a table for every month of the year, mine is February.

I am missing...My mom. I just recently found a copy of the eulogy and life history I wrote for her funeral and it just brought back so many wonderful memories of her life. Very bittersweet.

One of my guilty pleasures...Potato Salad, my mom's recipe. It is my total too die for food....rarely eat it but when I do it is a total guilty pleasure. We will be having it at the reunion...for sure.

Pet Peeves... The PRICE of gas! Kill me now! Over $4.39 for the middle grade although I haven't bought that in years. $4.05 for regular at the pump in our neighborhood now. So bad for the economy, I heard on the news today it is already affecting retail. My bigger pet peeve is that in a few months it will be old hat and we will all just accept it, cut somewhere else to survive and keep driving as much as ever.

One of my favorite things...Staying home, enjoying the simple life and hibernating with my hubby. I love to avoid the hubbub out there anymore. Peace, I just love the peace of home.

An enjoyable movie I have watched lately...Jim and I have been watching Winds of War and War and Remembrance for several weeks. Without question the best movie ever made on WWII. It was a TV mini-series with 44,000 extras to give you an idea of the magnitude of the project. The producer, director, screen writer, Dan Curtis, (along with Herman Wouk the author of the book), is the best in the business. This series is worth every minute of the time it takes to view it. If you have Netflix, you should see it. It is life changing and gives a tremendous overview of WWII in all its theaters.

I am curious about...how the impact of WWII affected the parents of my generation and what from those affects, shaped the way we are today. My father returned from over five years at war and I was born less than two years later in '47. I am so curious to know who my parents were before the war disrupted their life and dreams.

A few plans for the rest of the week...WW meeting in a few minutes, tomorrow, Family History Center and 2 hour class on genealogy, Wednesday night RS Birthday Dinner, Thursday day trip. Friday client time and shopping for a sofa for her & a new mattress for our guest room. Saturday wedding reception, Sunday church and dinner at The Leals. Hmmm, busy week.

Here are some photos and some thoughts I am sharing with you...of our little grand girls. Getting ready for a spa night with them at the reunion already! Get collecting that crazy nail polish girls!

Little Anyslee with a giant bug! Eeuuu!

Hazie at school!

Beautiful Piper on her 12th Birthday.

Funny Hazie, Asleep with a
Lego locked into her bite!


Precious Chloe Jane all decked out!

Miss Julia in her cute tee shirt mom
and dad brought her back from Scotland.
Striking resemblance!

The Blog I visited with the best Easy Easter Project this week was.....

See Lynda's Blog here for instructions:

Featuring this great and fun and easy project. I actually have made these, sure wish we could find the big blue bin that is housing all my Easter things! I guess I might be giving it a go again. I have never been that thrilled about decorating for Easter but for some reason (longing for spring?) I really am enjoying it this year. Partially because I have found some fun new things...the upside to losing your box of goodies somewhere in the attic I guess!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Sisters


European Sisters chillin' out
and enjoying their geraniums!

"A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot, humid day,
drinking iced tea and talked with her Mother.

As they talked about life, about marriage, about the
responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood,
the Mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully
and turned a clear and sober glance upon her daughter.

'Don't forget your sisters,' she advised, swirling the
tea leaves to the bottom of her glass.
They'll be more important as you grow older.
No matter how much you love your husband,
no matter how much you love the children you have,
you are still going to need your sisters.
Remember to go places with them now
and then; do things with them.'

'Remember that sisters means all women...
your girlfriends, your daughters, your mother
and all your other women relatives too.
You'll need other women. Women always do.'

'What a funny piece of advice the young woman thought.
Haven't I just gotten married?
Haven't I just joined the couples' world?
I'm now a married woman for goodness sake!
A grown-up! Surely my husband and the family we
start will be all I need to make life worthwhile.'

But she listened to her Mother. She kept contact with
her sisters and made more women friends each year.
As the years tumbled by, one after another,
she gradually came to understand that her Mom
really knew what she was talking about.
As time and nature work their changes and their
mysteries upon a woman~
Sisters are the mainstay of her life.

After more than 50 years of living in this world,
here is what I have learned for sure...

Time passes.
Life happens. Distance separates.
Children grow up.
Others sometimes mess up.
Hearts break.

Parents die.
People forget kindnesses.
Careers end.


But...Sisters are always there no matter
how far away or how many miles between you.
A sister is never farther away than needing her can reach.
Everyday we need each other still."
To all my sisters, know that I love you! B

The Fashionista In You!

This is a post I did three years ago that I thought was kinda fun. The article from Blissfully Domestic was a good springboard for some thoughts to share. I claim no expertise in the fashion realm whatsoever, just enjoy thinking about it from time to time. B

From Blissfully Domestic
(My additions in purple after the article)

"Shoes, handbags, earrings, bracelets, necklaces, scarves. Seriously, I have a teeny bit of an obsession when it comes to the peripheral portion of my closet.

Mainly, because I am cheap. And the thrifty fashionistas secret weapon is understanding that the most frugal way to stay "current" is to let your accessories do all the work. Remember this:

Buy classic clothes that flatter and pair them with trendy accessories for a look that is always in style.

The End."

Unfortunately, while accessories are the easiest way to keep up with the latest fashion trends, they can also be the most overwhelming to figure out. As one mom noted in the Blissfully Domestic forums last week, it can be difficult to determine how much is too much, which colors "go" and which ones don't have to.

Everything You Need To Know About Adding Accessories To Your Wardrobe

1. Make A Statement - but just one.

Photo Source

Our grandmothers used to call them "signature pieces". Of course, they usually meant the strand of pearls you never left home without. In today's style world we've moved beyond the classic strand and you now have a wide range of Statement Pieces to choose from.

Experiment with a large attention getting bracelet or a brightly colored necklace. Maybe you'll finally put on those leopard print shoes or chandelier earrings (that I am not giving up no matter what is supposed to be "in").

Whether you're an accessory hog or just learning to be more brave with your style, it's always smart to let one bold piece have center stage.

2. It doesn't have to match - it just has to "go".

Fans of the show What Not To Wear will have heard Stacey London use this phrase over and over again. Because it's true. You aren't limited to your shirt and pants when it comes to picking out colors for your accessories. In fact introducing a new color can be a great way to create a pulled together look.

I find that the easiest way to do this is to start with a fairly neutral outfit. An all black dress or a mainly solid top paired with denim provides the perfect blank canvas for your more colorful shoes or jewelery.

How do you know which colors "go"? Think in terms of color palettes. For visual tips (and new ideas!) you can use an online tool like this one at COLOURlovers.

3. Accentuate The Positives That No One Notices

The most timeless way to use accessories is to pull out a color that is already somewhere in your wardrobe. A slight cautionary note here: this is only a good idea if you are already wearing quite a few colors! A black dress with black shoes, black bag and black jewelry is only appropriate for a funeral. If you're the widow.

A better way to draw from your existing color palette is to match your jewelry (or shoes, or bag or scarf or whatever) to a color that isn't otherwise understated in your outfit. I have a pair of yellow shoes that I absolutely love with what is mostly a burnt orange top. The yellow in the shirt is barely noticeable, but adding the Cannot Be Ignored shoes creates an overall look that is both warm and striking.

As a rule, you don't have to use colors that are exactly the same when you're picking up on details. Keeping it in the family is usually your best bet to make this style tip work.

And that's it.

No - really. That is truly everything you need to know to start playing around in the accessory aisle with confidence. As with almost everything in life, the key is to relax and keep it simple."

I was thinking about this article and the similarities between interior design and fashion are amazing. I am in complete agreement about buying classic and adding the bling. By accessorizing with fun items in both your home and your wardrobe you can really step it up and make your look more unique.

I have a real thing about not having everything match. Matchy ~Matchy is very boring. Too much sameness is ho-hum. Asking yourself if it goes together is a better criterion to use in making your determination if something works, than asking does it match. To me one of the things that makes something striking is a little element of surprise or whimsy. Change it up a little and you can have a lot of fun, stay relatively current and create your own signature style.

Like the article says, one reason to think this way is that accessories are the least expensive way to decorate anything~your home or yourself! When you make an effort to look your best~you tend to feel better about yourself too. I like Fly Lady's thing about getting up and getting ready for the day the first thing in the morning. If not, the day tends to slip away from you. When I do that, I feel crummy and out of sync all day long.

Just like your home, the way you dress yourself affects how you feel and how you feel affects just about everything in your life. You don't have to be beautiful, or thin, or rich, or exotic looking or young to look good. You just have to make an effort and put some thought into it. Being your best self is an important and fun thing to do.

Be reasonable though, OK?

You don't want to be ticketed by
the Fashionista Police!

Believe me they are out there,
Jen & Laura both usta be one!

Wait, I think they still are~with me anyway!


Saturday, March 19, 2011

Our Brother's Keeper?


The following excerpt from an AP article got me thinking....

{KARAKUWA, Japan – There may be no water, no power and no cell phone reception in this tsunami-struck town, but in the school that serves as a shelter, there are sizzling pans of fat, pink shrimp.

Relief supplies have only trickled into the long strip of northeast Japan demolished by a powerful earthquake and the wave it unleashed a week ago, leaving affected communities to fend for themselves.

Many have risen to the occasion.

No water for the toilets? No problem. Students in Karakuwa bring buckets of water from the school swimming pool to give survivors the dignity of a proper flush. In the kitchen, a giant rice cooker given to the school by a resident sits on a table, steam rising from the heaping mounds of rice inside.

"For a long time, in the countryside, even if you didn't have enough for yourself, you shared with others," said Noriko Sasaki, 63, as she sat on the ground outside another relief center in the town. "That is our culture. Even if they're not relatives, we feel as if they're sisters and brothers."}

A Sense of Community...that is the part that got me thinking along with the fact that people are not complaining, they are not angry or sitting helplessly by and waiting and excepting someone else to fix everything. I also loved the quoted woman who said, For a long time, in the countryside, even if you didn't have enough for yourself, you shared with others... that is our culture. Even if they are not relatives, we feel as if they're our sisters and brothers." I think this is something learned over centuries, not just something that happened spontaneously this week.

I have so much respect for that, don't you? God Bless America, is all I can say. All I have been able to think about since I read this is the contrast between Japan's response and the footage of the looting, etc. in New Orleans after Katrina. I had the image of that one young guy etched in my mind...pushing a shopping cart full of new VCR's in boxes stolen from a store front. My thought was how odd...who even uses a VCR anymore? And why do you think they are yours for the taking? And who even has electricity here for that matter? Somehow he thought he has something to gain in someone else's misfortune.

I also remember all the blaming that went on, How it must be Bush's fault, since when do Presidents cause hurricanes I wondered? And who can forget the demands for everything including their rights for FEMA trailers, etc. The last thing people need in natural disasters like this, is humans making it worse.

And I have thought about how in our church we store food for emergencies. The thoughts about how that food and those supplies would be used is a curious one in this country. People have said to people that do prepare, "How will you protect your storage in the event of an emergency?

Do you know what I think would happen in a case like that? I think that the food and supplies would be taken to a central area and used to feed the"5,000." And it would not be kept just for "our own." It would be shared in the community because we too think of others, relatives or not, as our brothers and sisters.

Of course, it is not a perfect world and not everyone would want to do this, but I think the majority would, under local leadership requests. This is a hard concept in America, where the 'me first attitude' is prevalent. But I think we would be asked to do it and would, in most cases. Coming together and sharing the supplies would ease the burden of all and I think it would also increase the blessings to all.

Surrendering these stores for the good of all, would also eliminate or greatly lessen our chances of being harmed while someone took it away from us by force or at gunpoint. We all know they could and probably would! Some would think it foolish to give it willing to the cause, but I think it is living the higher law. It is what the Savior would have us do. It is what He would do.

And that is why my respect was heightened today for the people of Japan and why I pray we will all take the lesson to heart and learn from it. He that hath eyes to see, let him see, etc.... Any other way would not bring any lasting comfort or peace to anyone. In the end doing what is right always brings blessings back to the place or people where that good originated.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Sunrise, Sunset~Swiftly Go The Days..

Happy Birthday Miss Piper!

Today is a happy day, albeit a little bitter-sweet. Our beautiful little first grandchild is turning 12! On this day 12 years ago... a joy, like a rushing, bright light entered our hearts and life has never been the same. I am still amazed at the instant, deep love one has for a grandchild, it is a beautiful gift and one that surprised me with its intensity.

Piper and Spencie
It seems like such a short time ago she and Spencer where so little and playing in the wading pool in our backyard. This year, not only Piper but Spencer and Connor will be 12 also. You know our kids, they do everything in threes. All married within four months in 1997 and all had a baby within seven months of each other, two years later.

Just yesterday...

This was that defining photo. When I saw it sometime this past year, I knew she wasn't a little girl anymore....swiftly go the days...! She is a cute and perky preteen and coming into her own on many levels. (Piper, we could not love you more or be more proud of you.) Just last night she performed in her first drama production at school. How sad we are to have missed seeing it. I know she was fantastic in her role. She is such a beautiful girl and so sweet and caring. I love that about her so much. Tell me this isn't the day she can start wear a little make-up! Yep, I think it is!



Twelve is a fun age for girls in our church. She gets to go to our Young Women's Program now which is just amazing. They get to learn more about the gospel as it pertains to growing up and seeking after a life that will make our Father in Heaven happy and make them happy too. They have wonderful leaders that help them learn the young woman's values which are:

This is their theme which they memorize and
recite in unison with their friends
every week on Sunday.


They have a lot of very fun activities and they learn to serve others and enjoy this beautiful earth we have been given at Girls' Camp once a year. They have week night activities one night a week as well as great Sunday lessons. It is a wonderful foundation for a young woman and one we are so happy that she will have. There is a companion program for the boys which I will share with you when Spencer turns 12 in May.


So Happy Birthday to our Beautiful Piper!
Eat Cake!

We wish we could spend this
Special Day with you, Honey!