Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Things I Love to Hate About Tabloids


This is another is the series...What's Up With That?


I really get in a dither about the tabloids and other newsstand stuff at the grocery store cash register. I do not want to see another Tabloid article about Condie and George, Laura and George, Oprah and Stedman/ Obama/ Jamie Fox/or her best friend, Gayle. Don't get me wrong I love Oprah, I just hate the speculation about all her secrets and how much she weighs this week. I have had it with Britney Spears and her Ex. Take Nicole Ritchie, what exactly does she do to warrant all the attention? Is she in show biz or just Lionel's daughter? She gets more press than he does...go figure! Jon-Benet and speculation about her killer has been going on for 15 years now, enough already! Then there is the Brad and Jen /Angelina Jolie thing. I am sick of nonsense, Tom Cruise and Katie daily dilemmas and who has "come out" this week? Spare me the details on Ashley and Mary-Kate, Jessica Simpson and Scott Peterson and above all...OJ! On no, wait I forgot Hillary and Bill.

I do not want to see another article on losing weigh! Guess what? You can lose 50 pounds by Valentine's Day by just eating donuts.. for the newsstand price of only $1.49! I do not care who has cellulite and I certainly do not want photos! I am getting a little tired of how to organize everything from soup to nuts the real simple way. Can Prevention Magazine ever do a cover that is not a skinny woman in a blue bathing suit...do they know anyone that is male, over 30, and dressed? Nor do I want to see what the fattest person in the world looks like (especially when I glance down at my cart) or the bizarre predictions sure to come true in 2008. Who is still actually looking for where Elvis is hiding out? I can also pass right by the Best and Worst Dressed at the latest Hollywood extravaganza, my horoscope in a tube, and meals in five minutes for the entire family and how to be a millionaire without even working. Who loves the magazines with naked pregnant women on the covers? And speaking of pictures..when was the last time Martha Stewart actually had her picture taken? As I said, I dearly love Oprah but her picture on every single cover? I swear all this stuff is to raise your blood pressure and distract you from the scanner that is ripping you off systematically every 2 minutes on your groceries. Brilliant! The worst part about the whole things is there is no variety in this stuff...how many magazines can you buy that do not have anything new or uplifting to share? And another thing,
why do they have to put the blasted candy bars there too?

7 comments:

laura.elizabeth said...

Mom, this is brilliant!! It should be published some where- like right above the check out line at every store in America!

laura.elizabeth said...

Beautifully written! I love the memories you shared from your childhood. It is amazing how some things have changed and some things haven't. Thanks for sharing!

Bon's Blog by Design said...

I think the above posted comment goes to the Piper Snuggles post above.

Thanks Lou!

Miss Jen said...

Love it! This is hilarious and sooooo true!

Sad to say I still find the Britney thing morbidly fascinating, it's like watching a train wreck in slow motion, can she self destruct any more? Just wait a day and the answer will most likely be 'YES!" Super funny and yet so sad at the same time!

Laura said...

I am embarassed to say, that I do enjoy some of the fodder at times, but you are 100% right, and it does get old, even for me!!! And it is wrong, and a real waste of the human mind. So I guess you don't want to join our People Magazine Book Club? Is that a no? You will have to ask Jen about that, although we haven't had a meeting in a while!!!

Bon's Blog by Design said...

Laura, I would join any club with you! I am sure I could chime in with something since I do a lot of grocery shopping. Isn't People magazine just a cut above anyway?

Miss Jen said...

so the last issue of People in 2007 was the one w/all the 'who's the hottest' and 'who's the lamest' etc. it was a huge double issue and it had tons and tons of pages on all the hollywood bs that went on all year. Then the last 10 pages or so were tiny little yearbook type photos of all the soldiers that died overseas this year. It just seemed so totally lame to me that there were 4 entire pages on paris hiltons 3 weeks in jail and our soldiers got 1/30th of a page each. LAME!