Thursday, April 7, 2011

Fall Down Seven Times~Get Up Eight

"Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags. Then try 50-lb potato bags and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level.)
After you feel confident at that level, put a pot
ato in each bag."

This was sent to me by my friend, David, and
I really identify with this. Exercise is not my favorite fact, it doesn't even come close to being on my list of things I like to do or want to do. I do not know how to change my paradigm about this, so I have to come up with some way of out smarting my likes and dislikes button, long enough to do it anyway.

Don't tell!

These are some little known facts about me. I hate to touch a dead chicken while cooking, I cannot stand to go a day without washing my hair, and I don't enjoy sweating...not a lot, not even a little, not even one droplet. I don't want to walk up a mountain trail to see the wild go and show me your pictures. There are plenty of beautiful flowers at sea level. I hate climbing stairs and I am not running anywhere unless a bad person is chasing me with a butcher knife. Horseback riding scares the he** outta me and I don't do swimming suits.

Seriously, there is not a ball on this planet that I feel like running after and bending over to pick up, throwing, hitting, batting, kicking or falling in a heap with other people piled on top of me to get to it first. I don't like heights, high speeds, cliff hanging while someone holds my rope, and I really hate carrying heavy stuff or carrying my clothes, bed, and day's meals on my back. Whaa?

I cannot breathe when I jump around doing aerobics it hurts my knees, feet, and pride. And I don't do gyms, or watching women, size 2, sweating and complaining about their BMI, their heart rate or their kick boxing guru. And I never ever do naked outside of my own house and even there it is guarded. And lastly, my behind is way too big for a bike seat but my husband tells me real bikers don't sit anyway....what?? Are you kidding me?

So you get my big, fat, lazy picture, don't you? It is okay if you don't like me anymore and feel sorry for my handsome, beautifully fit and athletic husband. I'll join you in a moment of feeling sorry for him and a moment of silence on his behalf. (Paauusse....)

My worst nightmare immortalized
forever in stone for all to see~

A...big, fat, ugly,
helplessly naked woman
has fallen and she can't get up!

He needs and deserves so much better. So I have to overcome my "natural self" and give this poor man something fun to fantasize about~ a fit and healthy wife. He is retired now and he has to want to spend his twilight years with a better me. But even more than that, I want to get healthy to protect myself against the losing battle of getting old, at least enough to die with some dignity.

I don't want to wonder and worry if they have even make size 5 X Depends, or be worrying about some stranger, or even worse someone I know, God forbid, wheeling me into a walk in shower 3 times a week in an assisted living 'arrangement!' You know how I can't stand being dirty, naked, or pushed around.

I want to be able to do these things for myself. I don't want to be a burden to our beautiful children who already have enough and to spare on their own plates. I want them to get a phone call one day that lets them know that their mother died quietly and peacefully with a smile on her face, in her sleep, after a long and wonderful day of doing fun things with their dad. And I want everything to be taken care of in advance so all they have to do is show up at the funeral, where they will vow and covenant to each other to honor my last wishes of being true and faithful to God, and close to each other until they see me again..

Now I may not be so fortunate as to have my final curtain call be that perfect, but I do know that today is the day I have to start working harder to try to prevent the other options.

One thing is for sure, we will all see the Second Coming of Christ. It may not be the big group event we always think of, but it will be us meeting Him face to face and whether alone or in a crowd it really doesn't matter. We just have to be ready. Or at least be seriously on the path.

I'll tell you how I am trying to change my paradigm around exercising. It will be short, I promise. And unfortunately, not very amusing. But that is real life after all, isn't it? I am buying some new walking shoes this very week and I am taking the Weight Watcher Challenge to train for 6 week to possibly "do" a 3 k walk in May.

Actually knowing me as I do, that last sentence was pretty amusing after all. But I learned that the more you fail and try again the better your chances of actually succeeding one day. Who knew? So I'm in....! Do you think I can do it? Faith precedes the miracle.

Fall Down Seven Times...
Get up Eight!


laura.elizabeth said...

You are so funny! I love you and think you are great even if you don't like being sweaty and dirty! I did not love the picture of the rather large, fallen, naked lady (I think her physique was just a little too familiar) but it did make me laugh... out loud! Love you Mom! You are awesome in every way!!

Tina said...

I think I'm going to try that exercise! But, I fear the day that I have to put a potato in the bag!
Great post! I enjoyed it..too funny!

Julie Harward said...

That first part had me going LOL Very funny! I think the most simple way is to just put those walking shoes on and start..go for a walk! Do it for a week and the next week increase it. I walk 5 days a week, nearly 4 miles. My dogs motivate me and I do love it when I am out there. Go for it, you won't be sorry. :D

Sister Susie said...

Are you kidding me!! LOL! I would have muscle strain and damage within the first 10 seconds of holding that much weight. I can't even let my bullmastiff lay across my lap for one minute until she becomes a strain...and I'm sitting down, ha!

"Don't tell" - Do you sweat when you lift those 5 lb bags of potatoes? Ha!

Even in my own pool, I wear shorts and a tee shirt! As for the jumping, I don't do hurst my big boobs too much!

Men don't truly know what he** women go through with fighting weight. Laziness has nothing to do with it!! I'm so glad they love us anyway!

Roll-in shower, no way! I'll just let my dog give me a good lickin' ha!

Can you really exercise while sitting down? I do with the stationary bicycle!

Ohhhh that Happy Day! Won't it be great to receive a new body! My view is I won't be overweight (so no need for exercising), I can eat and the food goes to pure energy(none of that bathroom time!), no more stress of carrying big boobs, I could go on and on; but mostly to be in the Presence of our Holy GOD with a perfect body and our worship of Him will truly glorify Him!

Pray for me. I have a hard enough time falling down once and getting up twice. I don't want to think about 7 down and 8 up!

LOVE to you and yours,

The Hopkins said...

Bonnie this is seriously my favorite post EVER!! and that's saying a lot because I love your blog. You know I'm cheering for you!!

Connie said...

Oh, Bon, I love you more than words can say! Thank you for this absolutely delightful post. I laughed and laughed! You are medicine for my soul, my dear friend. :) The only issue I have with it is that I don't think the statue lady is all that bad....oh that I could look that good. But not be falling. Or made of stone. :)
Love you so dearly!!!!

Marie said...

Oh, Bonnie . . . I so hate exercise as well. I'm with Connie, I don't think that statue lady looks that bad either, except for the falling and stone bit I wouldn't mind looking like that at all!! ((((hugs))))