You Know You're 'Vintage" When...

You open the weekly local newspaper and see this picture of a few old duffers and realize..

One of them having the neighborly chat is, in fact, your old neighbor. When you lived next door to the guy on the right he was about 10 years old and played with your two younger brothers. Paul was a cute little blond-headed boy at the time. Whaaaaa? You think he looks old enough to be somebody's Grampa...yours!

You decided to apply for Social Security at the earliest possible age and your first check will be auto-deposited next week. You think you might have heard a tiny little curse word slip through your lips without warning.

You get interrupted while applying your make-up and don't realize for two hours that you had forgotten to do one eye! You wonder why the friend who comes to do yard maintenance is looking at you in a very strange way...

You get wrinkles in places that do not smile, or frown, or laugh or do anything but sit there...like your arms??

You could go on and on if you could remember what you wanted to say about being vintage and see your keyboard without squinting..

You ask yourself about 50 times a day, "What is this world possibly coming to?"

You really have no problem with vintage as long as it is not REALLY about you! But then your mind wanders and ...

You wonder if Obama has cash for clunkers other than cars? And then you remember he does...and you'll see it in your bank account next Wednesday!

Then for a second you think...well, maybe it's not that bad to be a clunker vintage. You glance down at your wrinkled parts and know the relief you had just felt was oh, so temporary.