Saturday, July 25, 2009

Speak English~Crazy As It May Be

I received this in an e-mail and found it fun and interesting...and it got me to thinking about English being the official language spoken by Americans. When you come to the USA it is not an easy language to learn, that is for sure. Check this out...

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce .

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse .

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present ,

he thought it was time to present the present .

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible."

All that being said, I still believe that if you want to live in the United States and seek the privilege of being an American, then you need to learn English. Call me crazy but it just makes sense. Maybe that is why this thought is not politically correct anymore. The making sense part, that is.

Our kids have been in Italy for over two years. They have struggled and learned the language because guess on over there is trying to learn English to try to understand or accommodate what the Americans want or need. Learning the language of a country is essential to living your best life there. It is that simple, even though learning a new language is not easy. Few things in life that are easy are worth much anyway.


Caroline Craven said...

Loved the post on the English language, but it's not the only confusing language. In Spanish (at least in Ecuador) when you knock on a door and the person invites you in, they say, "Siga no mas", which loosely translated is, "follow no more", and it means "come in". Makes you both love and hate language!

Nancy said...

Where we are right now, language immersion classes are all the thing. At the school my kids go to currently, it's chinese immersion. Then, I noticed driving by a neighboring school that they have french immersion beginning this year. I'm sure there are plenty of studies out there saying that this is a great way for kids to learn and I know MANY people who want their kids to participate in these choice programs. That's really awesome. However, I couldn't help but think, what happened to English immersion? Isn't that enough? But, I guess that's me in a bubble. Way to go for your kids who are in Italy to be learning the language! That is inspiring! I took many years of Spanish in my early education but I don't feel like I have great command of the language because I haven't been to a country to immerse myself in it. That is the key! Thanks for the post and I hope to read good reports about Hazie.

Nellie's Cozy place said...

Hi Bonnie,
That was a funny post, but I agree with you about speaking English in America. I lived in Germany when I was 20yrs. old and I did my best to learn the German language, I was far from fluent but I had a german friend and I would have her teach me how to say things so I could go downtown and shop and ask for what I needed in German. I know my german was far from perfect but the people so appreciated that I was trying to communicate with them in their language, and most of them spoke English by the way, cause they are
required to learn it in school.
Over the years I have known of some folks from other countries who don't know one word of english and they had lived in the U.S for years. That amazes me!!

It is funny the play on words we have, never realized just how many
there are until I saw this, and I am sure there are probably tons more. Have a great weekend,
Make sure you don't desert your dessert this weekend!! ha
Blessings, Nellie

Marie said...

What a crazy language we speak!! I'm glad you were able to figure out the link within a link thing. Expect I shall see it soon on here? Still keeping little Hazel in my thoughts and prayers. xxoo