Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Anger~The Silent Killer

I like this little cartoon because it points out that anger is often so damaging to the person feeling it and the other person is totally clueless.

We often hear the old adage that your anger is only hurting you. This is such a true statement. Yesterday while on my way into the market I heard these two men arguing. The younger of the two men was saying something about how angry the other man was making him. The older man shouted back..."I don't give a blankety-blank-blank about how mad you are!" By then I was in the store and that was all I heard but the words rang in my ears for quite a while. "I don't care how mad you are!" In many cases where anger exists, even when it is warranted, this statement could not be more true. Even if the person isn't clueless about why you are angry, they simply don't care! This is the ultimate in adding insult to injury.

The problem with being angry is it doesn't solve anything but it does hurt you in terms of it being a potential killer. Anger is the killer of love, affection, understanding and communication and relationships. Anger induced stress releases a hormone produced by the adrenal glands called cortisol. This hormone over time, under chronic stress, can be very damaging to us physically. Anger will elevate blood pressure, agitate your heart and lungs, cause dermatitis outbreaks (it literally gets under your skin), migraines, clinical depression and even infertility and it feeds addictions. Anger is counter productive in every way and yet some fall prey to it, all too often. I have no solutions for this problem but, here are some things I find helpful.

Thoughts and actions that can defuse anger:

1. You cannot change another person. Period.
2. Forgiveness is as much for you as it is for the offender.
3. Changing your response to something that isn't going away
is the only power you have over it.
4. Communication never occurs under the stress of anger.
5. Patience is a virtue. God isn't finished with him or her yet.
6. Praying for understanding and help in the situation.

Here are a few things that I think always produce anger:

1. Always needing to be right.
2. Self- justification.
3. Trying to operate outside of your stewardship. (Telling someone else how to do their job)
4. Pride
5. Meanness and above all, selfishness.
6. Being closed-minded about making changes in your own life or your own perceptions.

How do you handle your anger? I try to remember these things when I feel anger coming on. It helps a lot. And I try to remember that my anger is really disguising my hurt and/or unmet expectations of someone else. If I don't find a healthy way to resolve the issues it can lead to depression and ill health, and hopelessness.

For me personally, it helps for me to look to the Savior and follow His course of action. It is not always easy, but it never fails me. Anger has a way of feeling like it is something that happens to you that is beyond your control. Actually there is always a choice you make that is involved. Being proactive rather than reactive... matters.


Marie said...

I'm a person that really doesn't get angry, at least not very often. I'm pretty easy going and not all that hard to please. Maybe I am just wierd? I dunno, but I love being me! xxoo

Bonnie said...

Marie, I have gone through different time periods in my life where I use to get very angry about things that I couldn't change. The last many years now I don't get angry so much. I have just learned the price is too high and the results never seems to be what I was wanting anyway. Now I am much more mellow. But I don't stuff it anymore...I just let it go. Maybe it is just old age kicking it but I feel much happier these days. A feeling of contentment that is oh, so healthy and good. I mostly wrote this for someone that is important in my life that is struggling with ongoing anger that is affecting her health.

Caroline Craven said...

A lot for me to consider and think about. I am experiencing feelings of anger and frustration towards one of my sisters who always seems to be angry, negative and has a constant dark cloud hanging over her head. She is so self-centered all the time. It is sad to see her focus just become more and more narrow. It is debilitating her ability to help herself, let alone others. I just don't understand it.